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How do I take it?
#1
Hello, I'm from Hackforums and I'd thought I would come here because this is the right place for the support and help I need. Please just keep reading and help me. I'm going to tell you everything, just to see what you think I should do.

I'm a boy who is homosexual. I am still in the closet and no one knows except for my psychologist. I started seeing my psychologist when I was 14 years old, and stopped when I was 15 and a half because each session was too expensive. The reason I went to a psychologist was because my parents said I should talk to someone because I had all the symptoms for someone who was depressed. Before I started seeing him, I cut my wrists and when I stopped seeing him for about the first 3 months, I began cutting again. I'm now turning 17 and I haven't cut for about 1 year. I was on seratonin medication for a long time, and he kept doubling the dose, but it never worked so I just stopped taking the pills. I tried killing myself once by ingesting a ton of pills at a farm party, but it just made me puke for a day. I refused to go to the hospital when my parents told me to. I am going into my last year of high school, and I can say I'm happy for everything in my life, except for my love situation. I've never had a significant other, and I can honestly say, I can't go another year being alone. I have tons of friends don't get me wrong, but there's this guy that I really like. For the past year we've been flirting and I think that he likes me, but he is also in the closet. I keep convincing myself, "he's gay, he has to be", when for sure I actually don't know. When I think about him, I feel sick and giddy. I can't stop thinking about this guy, ever, and I mean ever. I think I have an obsession with another guy that could be completely straight. What should I do? Should I go back for help? Should I tell him how I feel? How should I come out? Should I even come out at all?

I hope you read my story, and I hope you can help me. The reason I posted this here is because frankly, I don't have the guts to tell anyone else that I have a crush "obsession" with another boy. It's just not in me.


Thanks for your time,


.....
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#2
One day just bring in the topic of homosexuality randomnly infront of him. See what he thinks about it, hw he reacts. U wud gt to know!!
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#3
(05-04-2011, 03:19 PM)rebirth49 Wrote: One day just bring in the topic of homosexuality randomnly infront of him. See what he thinks about it, hw he reacts. U wud gt to know!!

He's 16 and he's a guy in high school. Even though I'm gay, I would say the same thing as any straight guy as I'm still in the closet. I guarantee he would say, "Ew, that's gay".
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#4
Do you go partying with him? Alcohol tends to make people a lot more honest, even if they don't intend to be.

What makes you say he flirts with you?
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#5
(05-04-2011, 04:28 PM)Swat Runs Train Wrote: Do you go partying with him? Alcohol tends to make people a lot more honest, even if they don't intend to be.

What makes you say he flirts with you?

No were strictly school friends, and barely friends at that. I don't know any of his friends and he knows none of mine. He's kind of a nerd.

Like I said, I cant tell if he's actually flirting with me, or if I'm imaginating it. Whenever we go to get stuff from the front or what not he always stands ridiculously close, like the point where he's up against me. He also yesterday whispered " grab your ass" to me when we were walking out. He was joking obviously. Whenever we interact we are speechless and he always places his hands on my backpack when he doesn't know what to say.


Omg I sound crazy, I can't believe I'm typing this.
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#6
(05-04-2011, 05:06 PM)Do Not Forget Me Wrote: No were strictly school friends, and barely friends at that. I don't know any of his friends and he knows none of mine. He's kind of a nerd.

Like I said, I cant tell if he's actually flirting with me, or if I'm imaginating it. Whenever we go to get stuff from the front or what not he always stands ridiculously close, like the point where he's up against me. He also yesterday whispered " grab your ass" to me when we were walking out. He was joking obviously. Whenever we interact we are speechless and he always places his hands on my backpack when he doesn't know what to say.


Omg I sound crazy, I can't believe I'm typing this.

Well then the obvious first step is to arrange to meet him outside of school, get his number or something and go from there.
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#7
(05-04-2011, 05:06 PM)Do Not Forget Me Wrote: No were strictly school friends, and barely friends at that. I don't know any of his friends and he knows none of mine. He's kind of a nerd.

Like I said, I cant tell if he's actually flirting with me, or if I'm imaginating it. Whenever we go to get stuff from the front or what not he always stands ridiculously close, like the point where he's up against me. He also yesterday whispered " grab your ass" to me when we were walking out. He was joking obviously. Whenever we interact we are speechless and he always places his hands on my backpack when he doesn't know what to say.


Omg I sound crazy, I can't believe I'm typing this.
(05-04-2011, 05:26 PM)Swat Runs Train Wrote: I'll try to get his number. I actually think I could without being stupid. Do you think I'm crazy? I mean...
Well then the obvious first step is to arrange to meet him outside of school, get his number or something and go from there.
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#8
(05-04-2011, 05:35 PM)Do Not Forget Me Wrote:
(05-04-2011, 05:26 PM)Swat Runs Train Wrote: I'll try to get his number. I actually think I could without being stupid. Do you think I'm crazy? I mean...
Well then the obvious first step is to arrange to meet him outside of school, get his number or something and go from there.

I would probably call that flirting but it really depends on his personality, some straight guys can act really gay or say stuff like that lol.
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#9

Quote:I would probably call that flirting but it really depends on his personality, some straight guys can act really gay or say stuff like that lol.

fudge I wish you could understand. Every moment of everyday I think of this guy. It's seriously fudged up how much I like him, has anyone else felt like this towards another person in general?
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#10
(05-04-2011, 08:02 PM)Do Not Forget Me Wrote:
Quote:I would probably call that flirting but it really depends on his personality, some straight guys can act really gay or say stuff like that lol.

fudge I wish you could understand. Every moment of everyday I think of this guy. It's seriously fudged up how much I like him, has anyone else felt like this towards another person in general?

I'm sure everyone has, you need to do something about it or you will regret it for the rest of your life, trust me.
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