04-17-2011, 11:09 PM
Hey SF. I come to you today bearing all I have. I need support, and I need advice.
[CA] = California
My name is Ron (19) [CA], her name is Alexa (17) [CA]. We have known each other for almost 4 years. We had a past relationship, lasted 2 years. She went to Utah to finish High School, stayed for a year and a half. We wrote letters back and forth on an irregular but close to monthly basis. I saw her 3 times during that time span when she visited family. Our conversations got deeper those 3 times, the final time ending in her saying she loved me. The hook was that she is not ready for a relationship, because when she finishes High School she will be moving back to California she will need to get her life in order.
Skip forward until graduation.
She graduated from High School on the 14th, and moved back to California and arrived last night.
I love her with all that I am, no doubts about it. It's love, head-over-heels. I feel so blind, I mean with the average girl I can generally tell if someone likes me. Not with her. I can't tell anything and I am scared shitless.
I can't shake this feeling that she is making her decision currently, and I feel like I am on shaky ground. I feel so lost, and my feelings are tearing me apart.
How do I bring the subject up? Not necessarily love itself, but how I feel? I have some guilt I need to get off my chest (I was a dick when we broke up 2 years ago, but we have forgiven each other) and I want to express my regret and give her assurance it will not happen again.
I want to tell her I love her. I am scared. I have never felt this way before... please help SF.
[CA] = California
My name is Ron (19) [CA], her name is Alexa (17) [CA]. We have known each other for almost 4 years. We had a past relationship, lasted 2 years. She went to Utah to finish High School, stayed for a year and a half. We wrote letters back and forth on an irregular but close to monthly basis. I saw her 3 times during that time span when she visited family. Our conversations got deeper those 3 times, the final time ending in her saying she loved me. The hook was that she is not ready for a relationship, because when she finishes High School she will be moving back to California she will need to get her life in order.
Skip forward until graduation.
She graduated from High School on the 14th, and moved back to California and arrived last night.
I love her with all that I am, no doubts about it. It's love, head-over-heels. I feel so blind, I mean with the average girl I can generally tell if someone likes me. Not with her. I can't tell anything and I am scared shitless.
I can't shake this feeling that she is making her decision currently, and I feel like I am on shaky ground. I feel so lost, and my feelings are tearing me apart.
How do I bring the subject up? Not necessarily love itself, but how I feel? I have some guilt I need to get off my chest (I was a dick when we broke up 2 years ago, but we have forgiven each other) and I want to express my regret and give her assurance it will not happen again.
I want to tell her I love her. I am scared. I have never felt this way before... please help SF.
We all have things we want to say, but not publicly. We all need help with them at one point. If you want a private conversation or seek private help, send me a PM.