Sync, thanks. So update. Last nigth another long chat. Guy comes straight out and says he thinks i am nice and wants to have sex. I said no dating. he says if the sex is good then maybe a relationship. he says he is a man who does not BS and rather the long way round says it how it is. He still think i am nice and be friends if the sex is bad. I said so only your terms and this does not make me feel good. basically he wants friends with benefits which is something i do not do. he had no idea what i meant but hej we live and learn. This then progressed to him saying he knows enough about me to want to have sex as he feels a connection. Over time this may grow into love. I asked his emotions. Yet every question came back with no real answer. Like i would say so sex without emotions, his response is you are assuming i have no emotions rather than giving a straight answer. I said i am not easy and if i was how could u possibly have respect for me. No answer. he said just play around and have sex and i said i dont do that. I told him i have so many guys hitting on me so how can i know your emotions and seriousness about me. He said for him to have sex, he is being serious but not serious enough to have real feelings for me. Or have i got this wrong? He says he thinks i am nice, smart, attractive, nice body and all assets and thinks of me and sex. guy does not even want to ask me out. What the hell. he cannot be serious. I dont know everyone, i like him but he could just have a good time and he then decides if it is good or bad and whether we have a relationship or not. I just do not think he is being fair and even genuine. BTW, the email i sent him before about r u treating me like u want a man to treat your kids, - no response. But he stayed onlione till late last night to want to chat with me. But then all of a sudden said he has to go and go to sleep. Then just logged off. This made me feel bad too. As much as i like him, i also am mad at him and he puts me on this emotional rollercoaster. Does he know this andis not respecting my feelings? He said we are both strong and neither wants to give in. I firmly believe he does not want to be patient and therefore cannot respect my feelings. A gentlemen is still a gentlemen to let things evolve naturally and he is just impatient. Do u guys think he is manipulative and have fun? he also keeps saying i am nice, but never really says he likes me alot. What does nice even mean for a guy? A blimin flower can be nice. A friend is nice. But he does not even see me as a friend. he is honest in saying either way, he will think i am nice and still want sex with me. What, even when with someone else? Everyone, your viewpoints in what i know has many questions in this post to answer. Please can someone give some clarity to each question if i have not jumbled too much. he is in my thoughts all the time and wants to often just discuss sex with me. I ask about his interests, his family, his hobbies but there is little interest there despite getting short answers back. he does not get it, i know little of him to take it intimate and guys must know when a woman is serious that a sexual act is not taken lightly. Is he willing to have an intense moment for his own ego boosting and then be just ok to hurt me like that? Thanks everyone.
Another male who will only play you for your body. Trust me, I do that all the time, multiple girls in one chat. Different IMs. I joke around with them, and they do as well. Just turning them on. Giving them some feelings in the inside until it all has fully developed. Worked many times before. The crushes on me have lasted a long time. Seriously though, don't follow him. It's a turn off. Especially if he's not interested in you, but only your female organs. It is all obvious he is not serious about his feelings but only wants sexual pleasure. On the other side of the world, he may be telling his friends something like this: "Yo, I got this chick and we're boutta have sex, son". The way you have introduced his personality depicts he is a player. He may sound like he means everything he says, but he's being obstinate and thinking lasciviously about women like you. He may be only doing that because he's bored. He may be saying that because he's bored and sounding all nice, until you say yes, then it all turns real...
Well, this is just my point of view. This is what I think.
Pulse thank you. i appreciate this. We just had another interaction where he makes me feel bad again. I told him i am not a fling chick so to speak. he only contacts me when he is bored. he wants sexual pleasure and i guess u r right he is making me believe that it will be more if the sex is good. WT.... hell like i am going to be assessed. This really makes me ill and I am close to tears as i am confused. he sent a long email back turning it all back on me. telling me to stop assuming and putting words in my mouth, yet he will not answer any of my questions directly. I told him you seem to be a player and he got really mad. Just wrote that he thinks i am attractive in mind and looks, but my messages are not attractive. Is he playing with my mind and being manipulative? Making me feel bad to give into him even more? Can he really be that cruel in doing this when he knows i am a serious person? SO he does not like me in a serious way, but says sex is serious for him, yet he has it with someone every months he claims. And he is not really serious about me, nor is he really respectful? he gives me a choice he said, if i dont sleep with him then he is fine with that too and is happy to be friends. This yells, he is just not serious about me. he made it clear that he still will think i am nice (what does nice even mean?) and that he will stil want to have sex with me. Is this the lowest form of disrespect? So i get from you that we sleep with one another and then he is satisfied and makes up alot of excuses to not meet me again? Or contacts me when he is bored again?
he has just written. we can try and go out on a date....hows that....
he wrote it like that. now does that mean he is trying a different route to get laid or showing me he is serious?
If he avoids direct eye contact, then that is when you know that he likes you.
yeah he does when i approach him, gets a bit shy. But when the look locks, brief moment and we both get awkward - like school kids really. Not sure if u read the history but the fact is i am so worried this guy evolves my feelings when really he just wants some fun and sex for his own ego boost. I am not blowing my own trumpet but well, if u saw me there is more to me then my looks and the fact i dont think i am all that apparently makes people mesmerized. it is nice but I like someone to see me for my heart and value my mind too. He says he finds me smart but just loves sex and this is important for him. How can he without getting to truely know me? no dating. but now the way he says lets find a date to go out....hows that.... not the most romantic statement and almost like trying to please me to still get what he wants. He probably just get most frustrated for me not giving in so easily. I have too much respect for me especially after this roller coaster ride he seems to put me on.
If a guy want's to do everything for you.
thanks
he does not. Actually we had a direct conversation. i have understood he is confused. he says he wants sex, then see if it evoles in a relationship, then he says he has no time for a relationship. my feelings have grown and i feel sick everyone. i told him this is not respectful behaviour and this is why i feel confused and played. it does not help to turn it back to me. he says he often wonders how i am, thinks i am wonderful on one hand and crazy on the other hand. i feel insulted by this. i told him i aint that chick to sleep with such mixed emotions. he says he likes me but i said u can like a plant. bottom line is he dont want more than sex and i love to be with him in this way but the way the conversation is left, he has me further confused. He has said that if he only wanted sex, he would pursue me, take me out, dinner and all of it. He likes me and has not done any of that. What does this mean to any guys out there to explain this to me? He says with some of my writings, he is nervous as i am being so direct, and i see him to be manipulative, yet he goes online to still contact me. Everyone, he is in my mind all the time. it is affecting me in a big way. what is wrong with me? he is unsure how he feels, thinks it is not love but then he has no idea what love feels like. dont know if he got me hoping here again. earlier i wrote he says lets go out on a date, but was that then to just get lucky? i have no idea where we stand. i am surely not affecting him. but maybe he is put up bigger wall than me and i am more vulnerable with less in my life to focus on. again, what is he feeling and what is happening to me? Or am i just a sucker for a lost cause running to the rescue or soemthing stupid like that. Many thanks and sorry for this whining i feel i am doing. I am confused and seek clarity. if i would sleep with him, am i being easy? This guy has got me falling over to a point i almost want him to be falling over.
(03-31-2011, 05:58 PM)monique12345 Wrote: [ -> ]Sync, thanks. So update. Last nigth another long chat. Guy comes straight out and says he thinks i am nice and wants to have sex. I said no dating. he says if the sex is good then maybe a relationship. he says he is a man who does not BS and rather the long way round says it how it is. He still think i am nice and be friends if the sex is bad. I said so only your terms and this does not make me feel good. basically he wants friends with benefits which is something i do not do. he had no idea what i meant but hej we live and learn. This then progressed to him saying he knows enough about me to want to have sex as he feels a connection. Over time this may grow into love. I asked his emotions. Yet every question came back with no real answer. Like i would say so sex without emotions, his response is you are assuming i have no emotions rather than giving a straight answer. I said i am not easy and if i was how could u possibly have respect for me. No answer. he said just play around and have sex and i said i dont do that. I told him i have so many guys hitting on me so how can i know your emotions and seriousness about me. He said for him to have sex, he is being serious but not serious enough to have real feelings for me. Or have i got this wrong? He says he thinks i am nice, smart, attractive, nice body and all assets and thinks of me and sex. guy does not even want to ask me out. What the hell. he cannot be serious. I dont know everyone, i like him but he could just have a good time and he then decides if it is good or bad and whether we have a relationship or not. I just do not think he is being fair and even genuine. BTW, the email i sent him before about r u treating me like u want a man to treat your kids, - no response. But he stayed onlione till late last night to want to chat with me. But then all of a sudden said he has to go and go to sleep. Then just logged off. This made me feel bad too. As much as i like him, i also am mad at him and he puts me on this emotional rollercoaster. Does he know this andis not respecting my feelings? He said we are both strong and neither wants to give in. I firmly believe he does not want to be patient and therefore cannot respect my feelings. A gentlemen is still a gentlemen to let things evolve naturally and he is just impatient. Do u guys think he is manipulative and have fun? he also keeps saying i am nice, but never really says he likes me alot. What does nice even mean for a guy? A blimin flower can be nice. A friend is nice. But he does not even see me as a friend. he is honest in saying either way, he will think i am nice and still want sex with me. What, even when with someone else? Everyone, your viewpoints in what i know has many questions in this post to answer. Please can someone give some clarity to each question if i have not jumbled too much. he is in my thoughts all the time and wants to often just discuss sex with me. I ask about his interests, his family, his hobbies but there is little interest there despite getting short answers back. he does not get it, i know little of him to take it intimate and guys must know when a woman is serious that a sexual act is not taken lightly. Is he willing to have an intense moment for his own ego boosting and then be just ok to hurt me like that? Thanks everyone.
did you sex with here? that would be nice. haha
He's really playing you big time. Those guilt trips are about control and manipulation. He doesn't care about how you feel, only what he wants. He sleeps around a lot... and you still want him?! He thinks little of himself, never mind the women he sleeps with. Get rid of him, he thinks you're easy and doesn't respect you. He'll get what he wants from you, keep playing the games, never give you what you want while keeping you dangling on a piece of string ready to haul you in again on his whims, which are all about sex and nothing else. It'll tear you up... he won't care. When he's done, he'll be gone. It'll hit you so hard, the pain will incomprehensible to you, and you'll be left struggling to pick up the pieces of your life again. It's extremely cruel - it's heartless on his part. You can do far better... rescue yourself from him, and don't allow yourself to become the loser. Let him fall over time instead, because he will. Guys like this rarely ever change, and they're the ones who find themselves old and lonely. I should know, I've been played by this type of guy! Incidently, any guy who doesn't know what FWB means is lying. Mine also tried to play this trick on me, act all innocent like. Don't fall for it. Truth is, he knows exactly what he wants and how he's going to get it, and it isn't anything about you as a person that he's interested in. Like you say, just your female organs! Go with your gut instincts here, they're already telling you what you need to know.
(03-31-2011, 08:32 PM)monique12345 Wrote: [ -> ]Pulse thank you. i appreciate this. We just had another interaction where he makes me feel bad again. I told him i am not a fling chick so to speak. he only contacts me when he is bored. he wants sexual pleasure and i guess u r right he is making me believe that it will be more if the sex is good. WT.... hell like i am going to be assessed. This really makes me ill and I am close to tears as i am confused. he sent a long email back turning it all back on me. telling me to stop assuming and putting words in my mouth, yet he will not answer any of my questions directly. I told him you seem to be a player and he got really mad. Just wrote that he thinks i am attractive in mind and looks, but my messages are not attractive. Is he playing with my mind and being manipulative? Making me feel bad to give into him even more? Can he really be that cruel in doing this when he knows i am a serious person? SO he does not like me in a serious way, but says sex is serious for him, yet he has it with someone every months he claims. And he is not really serious about me, nor is he really respectful? he gives me a choice he said, if i dont sleep with him then he is fine with that too and is happy to be friends. This yells, he is just not serious about me. he made it clear that he still will think i am nice (what does nice even mean?) and that he will stil want to have sex with me. Is this the lowest form of disrespect? So i get from you that we sleep with one another and then he is satisfied and makes up alot of excuses to not meet me again? Or contacts me when he is bored again?
he has just written. we can try and go out on a date....hows that....
he wrote it like that. now does that mean he is trying a different route to get laid or showing me he is serious?
Right there. If he only contacts you when he's bored, he's only looking for sexual pleasure and so he finally feels good. But, don't be sad. There are many good looking guys with good personalities in the world. Don't only stick to this guy. There are many guys you haven't met. Now he wants a date? I'm assuming sex on the first date. Don't fall too hard. Remember this experience in the future so you don't get hurt. This guy sounds like he'll turn into a pedophile when he grows up. Well, when he gets a job.