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Yin's Poetry - Hatrid Ex
#11
I loved it 9.6/10
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#12
I would never be able to accomplish something nearly as good as what you have. Major props.
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#13
Overall, it was nicely written, but some places it seemed like you tried a little too hard to rhyme, and just kind of "shallowed" it out.

The "despair/hair" rhyme just threw me off, they just don't seem to flow well with the theme of the stanza. Maybe it's just a personal thing to me, I don't know. That's just one example.
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#14
That was very very good Yin.
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