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Something I wrote earlier this week.
#1
Quote:Good bye for now,
Good bye forever.
I'll leave you alone,
To find another.
I kept hurting you,
And it doesn't feel right.
Good bye forever,
I won't see you tonight.

I haven't written anything for about a year, and someone asked me to write something for them. So, I did. What do you guys think?
Ninja
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#2
I like it but seems pretty depressing. Who'd you write it for like an ex-girlfriend or somethin?
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#3
I think that it's pretty good.
The second last line shouldn't be the same as the second line.
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#4
Depending on who you made this for, it might sound better with his/her name instead of forever in the second to last line.
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#5
(02-04-2011, 02:17 PM)Packers Wrote: I like it but seems pretty depressing. Who'd you write it for like an ex-girlfriend or somethin?

One of my friends wanted me to write something, so I did... Tongue
Ninja
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#6
If you're planning to write a song, this would make a great chorus man.
Quote:My religion tells me that God made the universe. My science tells me how.

[Image: 034_p16.jpg]
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#7
i thinks its good even though depressing.............but good writing comes in all forms.Good jobSmile
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#8
Kind of repetitive, but on the other hand it does help to convey a point. So i guess it's decent.
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#9
This would be touching to give to your girlfriend.
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#10
It's very nice poem hehe. Nice writing dude =)
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