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I like it but seems pretty depressing. Who'd you write it for like an ex-girlfriend or somethin?
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I think that it's pretty good.
The second last line shouldn't be the same as the second line.
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Depending on who you made this for, it might sound better with his/her name instead of forever in the second to last line.
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If you're planning to write a song, this would make a great chorus man.
Quote:My religion tells me that God made the universe. My science tells me how.
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Kind of repetitive, but on the other hand it does help to convey a point. So i guess it's decent.
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This would be touching to give to your girlfriend.
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It's very nice poem hehe. Nice writing dude =)