07-20-2013, 10:44 PM
Hey dudes, I feel for you and it isn't easy. Life right now can be very difficult for everyone let alone fellas at your age and in your situation. School can be the worst place at times and peer group pressure, social pressures, parents and the media all contribute to this. Other students can also be complete asswipes! So don’t ever think you’re alone, but a lot of people just can’t cope full stop to give you support.
Here’s a little info to take or leave. Finding some sort of identity (of your own) which gives you meaning and ultimately purpose is what you have to strive for. This is what gives you the motivation to get up and do stuff because you want to, as opposed to because you have to. If you “have to” do stuff you just end up not doing it at all and life becomes not only a challenge, but meaningless. In your example, how are you defining yourself? By not having a girlfriend, thinking you’re not attractive enough, too anti-social, and not good enough at school? You have to change the small talk between yourself to acknowledge these thoughts or feelings, but start developing a plan in your head about what you want to change and then (preferably on paper, pc) set some specific goals that you revisit or get help with. By doing this (and I can expand later) you can help change your small talk. It will also give you some purpose in life and the motivation to participate. In turn you will feel better about yourself as we are programmed to go the negative route. Chicks will always be a focus but activity (action) builds self-confidence and this is what attracts girls (along with a bloke with some purpose) regardless of looks.
Here’s a little info to take or leave. Finding some sort of identity (of your own) which gives you meaning and ultimately purpose is what you have to strive for. This is what gives you the motivation to get up and do stuff because you want to, as opposed to because you have to. If you “have to” do stuff you just end up not doing it at all and life becomes not only a challenge, but meaningless. In your example, how are you defining yourself? By not having a girlfriend, thinking you’re not attractive enough, too anti-social, and not good enough at school? You have to change the small talk between yourself to acknowledge these thoughts or feelings, but start developing a plan in your head about what you want to change and then (preferably on paper, pc) set some specific goals that you revisit or get help with. By doing this (and I can expand later) you can help change your small talk. It will also give you some purpose in life and the motivation to participate. In turn you will feel better about yourself as we are programmed to go the negative route. Chicks will always be a focus but activity (action) builds self-confidence and this is what attracts girls (along with a bloke with some purpose) regardless of looks.