why shouldnt a sex offender harm himself?

[task]

I am labeled a sexual predator. When I had just turned 18 I was arrested for possession of child porn. It was not mine.. I ran servers that I rented out and someone put it on there... but it was in my house. I went to prison 2 times to get off the probation for that charge. Then I met the sweetest girl in the world. There is no word to try to describe how amazing she is. I met her when I was 22 and she was 19. We were together for a year and I got arrested. Someone picked me out online and said I had flashed a girl walking to school even when I had a aliby.(on camera at work) they said they were going to use my previous charge against me to convince the jury. So I got scared and took probation. I lose my job in the mean time. I was with this girl for 5 years and then I get arrested for petty theft. I lied to her about several small things. But I was making money off the stuff I stole and never told her. I hurt her so bad and she can never trust me again. I goto prison for a year and am now out again. I see her everyday but she always tells me we can never be together again like we were before. She says she never really knew me with all the lies. I love her so much and it hurts so bad. So now you know the state my mind is in. I just found out I can't live 2500ft from amd park, daycare, school, bus stop, ect. That leaves no where to live! I just got out... can't find a job... my life is ruined forever! I have been having anxiety attacks like never before. I am hitting a whole new depression I have never felt before. I even have dreams of killing myself. And even if I do I believe society would be happier. Let me make it clear..... I don't like children in that way. Children are very sweet and funny... but no way do I think anything sexual about them. I know there will be people on here going crazy about this post... sorry. I just feel like.. maybe I can start over with a recarnation. I mean what other options do i have? Any thoughts or input would be greatly appreciated aslong as it isnt hate.

~will never have a normal life