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Let me start by giving some background info. I didn't have an easy childhood. I was molested for years by a friends father starting when I was about 8. I was constantly picked on all through grade school and most of high school. At 22 I was introduced by a friend to a girl. She had a 5yo old son but I fell in love with her and eventually we got married. I raised my stepson as my own and I am the only father he has ever known. Things were great for years. We tried having another child but it hasn't happened. Fast forward 13 years and our son is now 18. Here's where my problem is. Now that he's grown, and we are getting up in our age, I want another child badly. Trouble is, my wife doesn't feel that way anymore. My stepson is my son, but I have this urge to have one of my own flesh and blood and I fear time may be running out. I feel like she has no care what so ever about my feelings. Do I waste my time hoping that eventually she changes her mind, or do I move on now before it really gets to late?

It seems like you guys have been trying to have another child for a while, in which case I don't think it's fair to be angry with your wife for being less-than-enthusiastic. I think it's natural to want a biological child, but it sounds like you are considering leaving your wife and son for it. If you truly considered them your family then you wouldn't do this, in my opinion. It just sounds like you're saying propagating your DNA is more important than the family you've spent 13 years with.

While I hope you guys work it out, I doubt that she will change her mind. Having children in your late thirties comes with more risks, and she is probably discouraged by lack of success in the past.

Good luck!

Hi, this topic is old but If you'd like to talk about this problem - please give me a PM.

Regards,
Callum.