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My girlfriend was very open to me about what happened to her as a child before we were even together, she was abused by her stepfather (who was a drunk), and is now dead. She isn't bothered about what happened to her in any way, but more the fact he's dead. She defends what he did because he was drunk and a "nice man" and it's something I don't understand. The death of him causes her more upset than the, what I imagine to be, the most traumatizing experience of her life.

After undergoing somewhat abuse in my past, I'd certainly never wish anyone dead from it, but nor would I defend them like she does. Is it common for the abusee to defend the abuser?

EDIT: I'm becoming increasingly troubled by her past... I aren't sure why but it's starting to upset me rather a lot.

It's can be because she is traumatizing damaged. Maybe he is afraid of people will judge her from that and will try to get them focus on something else.