Support Forums

Full Version: Is this normal/healthy?
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
I need some advice because Im not sure if my behaviour is emotionally healthy or even normal at the moment.

Bit of background info here, I haven't been in a real relationship for something like 8 years, I think my emotional development in this area is lacking to put it one way.

Over the last 3 months I developed a bit of an interest in a girl at work, a fact I wasn't able to hide as everyone in the office could tell. I recently found out that she does not like me, which is fair enough.

My problem is that there is another guy at work who seems to have quite a good relationship with her and every time I see him speaking to her I feel an intense jealousy and anger. I feel a lot of anger about the whole situation and have pretty much shut down towards her, I have barely said a word to her since I found out how she felt. Is this jealousy normal or is there a better way to deal with this?

Thanks
Hey dm195,

This behavior is extremely normal and is very popular with us guys. Unfortunately there isn't really much you can do to prevent it, I'm afraid you're just going to have to try to deal with it the best you can, just make sure you never expose your anger in such a manner which can put your job at risk. Relationships are a tricky thing, and at times can be heart breaking, but you just need to keep looking forward to that special someone. Now, I'm not saying you never have a chance with this someone, just give it time. Do you mean she doesn't like you at all? Or she doesn't like you in that way?
She doesn't like me in that way but we get on just fine, or at least used to. She changed in her attitude towards me when she realised I liked her, things became a lot more awkward. Thanks for your response, I appreciate the input
(03-06-2012, 05:25 PM)dm195 Wrote: [ -> ]She doesn't like me in that way but we get on just fine, or at least used to. She changed in her attitude towards me when she realised I liked her, things became a lot more awkward. Thanks for your response, I appreciate the input

Approach her in a friendly manner and explain that you know she doesn't have feelings for you and that you don't want to things to be awkward between then. Try to explain how you can be fine with being just friends and that you want to stay friends with her. At-least you can hopefully be friends with her then, that's better than nothing, right?
This is absolutely normal, it's just called jealousy. It happens to all humans, don't worry. Just talk to her, and ask if you can be friends instead of in a relationship, and maybe she will fall in love with you along the way!