(01-17-2012, 11:48 PM)SoulCake. Wrote: [ -> ]I don't want people to come in here and tell me I can date other people. That's what almost everyone did. Is the only way to get over one love, getting a new one? Isn't that just the rebound? That will just lead to more hurt. I don't want to date other people right now. I want to be okay on my own. Obviously I can't date someone else. That wouldn't be fair to me and it wouldn't be fair to whoever I date if I'm still thinking of my ex.
I'm just so sick of living for the future, being hung up on the past.
Are you looking to see when someone posts what you want to hear then or are you just disregarding all these suggestions?
Quote:Is the only way to get over one love, getting a new one? Isn't that just the rebound? That will just lead to more hurt.
How do you know when you're not willing to try? That's my point here. You're not willing to accept anyone's advice here but stick to your own beliefs. It's consciously looking for an excuse not to try what we're suggesting here. For your age, it's more of a learning experience anyway, unless you're one of the very very very small few that end up with someone that they keep and marry eventually. But people around your age aren't looking for that kind of a relationship quite so serious, even if you are, he might not.
What is most hurtful to you right now, is your grasp on the guy that you might, and might not ever get back again.
Quote:Obviously I can't date someone else. That wouldn't be fair to me and it wouldn't be fair to whoever I date if I'm still thinking of my ex.
Good point, but chances are you're not going to get into a relationship in the blink of an eye after going out and seeing what other guys there are out there for you anyway, so that doesn't really matter from my perspective here. You don't have to date someone right away, it's waiting for the right guy that you need to be focused on, and you'll never know that at your age, unless in the case of above like i've mentioned earlier in this post. But I highly doubt that.
Quote:I want to be okay on my own
Refer to this above, as you said.
Quote:I'm just so sick of living for the future, being hung up on the past.
Then try to move on.
No need to go and find someone to date immediately even if you did move on from this downfall in your current state of mind. I never mentioned that, but! You do need to move on. You have a part of your brain that denies wanting to do that though, which is very evident. Perhaps, you're afraid of moving on? Or afraid of change? But that's perfectly human nature. I have good insight, and I was interested in human philosophy and psychology at a time in my life, but that knowledge stayed with me because I found it interesting to learn how people tick.
Think of it this way, even if you did get back with him, what would that change for trying to live for the future? He has a new girl right now, so in all honesty even though you may not want to hear it from me, being a random person on the forum you go to. I can say with confidence that he's not looking to get back with you, he's off venturing. If he's not looking for a serious relationship currently, and you are, it's only going to hurt you more down the road if you were to get back with this guy because chances are it won't last anyways, but you would have been more attached to him.
I'm certain someone else out there will make you feel special like he did. You'll find that person in time, but you won't get to meet this person if you hold yourself back in regret keeping a lookout blindly because of what happened between you and this one guy.
Based on what I read above, it's EASY to see that the reason you might not want to move on is because of the fear of getting hurt once again, and having to dig yourself out of another hole like the one you're in right now. But if no attempt is made to dig yourself out of that hole, you're just stuck there as far as i'm concerned. And if worst comes to worse, if it happens to rain, you're not getting out of that hole at all.