Hey guys, I made a thread a bit ago about How I feel a certain way only when I am with a certain girl, but when I am not with her I do not like her.
I think I found out what the problem is after I though about it for awhile, and it is because of a girl I used to date. I am only 14 so I am still a bit immature, but when I am with the girl I currently am having problems with, I feel like I like her, but when I am not near her, I still think about the other girl I liked like crazy.
I went out with this other girl, and I liked her like CRAZY, we broke up about 3-5 months ago, and I still have feelings for her.
So I guess the help I need now is how to get over the girl I previously dated? I just seem to think I will never find another girl like her, It was just a way about her how she was so, well, I just don't know how to explain it, but she wasn't a whore either.
Heres a picture of her:
<---- That is my ex girlfriend by the way,
(Shes with her dad) And as I said before, I am just 14, and so is she. And another problem is she has a boyfriend at the moment... So guys, what should I do?
Thanks for the help!
Please delete this post. Thanks.
I think the issue here is that you miss the feeling of having someone around close by. So when you're not with this girl in the picture, you don't feel like you love her because it was only the feeling that you liked. You've grown attached to the feeling of being loved, probably not the person.
(12-30-2011, 11:27 PM)King Wrote: [ -> ]Well it all makes sense now. I completely understand where you're coming from. Often, once you've just broken up with someone and you had eyes for them and them only for a long time, you remain uninterested in anyone afterwards. I too have just gotten out of a long-term relationship. During that relationship, no one could make me feel how the girl I was dating could. I can now look at girls and like them when I'm talking to them, I can be sexually attracted to them. But when I'm alone, I just don't give a fudge.
Don't know if you can relate to that or not, but I think I understand where you're coming from.
How to get over your old girl? That's a little more challenging. Time is always going to be the best cure in this situation. Give it time and try not to remind yourself of her. If you have pictures or belongings of her, get rid of them. The more time you spend looking at the memories of your ex, the harder it will be to forget about her.
Give it time. Don't get involved in this new girl unless you can completely commit to her. Unless... you're a player and just want to get in and out. That works too. ;)
I can relate, but I she dumped me 3-5 months ago, and I still think about her every single day. I try not too, and that is why I am trying to find a new girl, it is just too hard...
(12-30-2011, 11:29 PM)AceInfinity Wrote: [ -> ]I think the issue here is that you miss the feeling of having someone around close by. So when you're not with this girl in the picture, you don't feel like you love her because it was only the feeling that you liked. You've grown attached to the feeling of being loved, probably not the person.
The girl in the picture is my ex girlfriend.
(12-30-2011, 11:31 PM)Juicy Booty Wrote: [ -> ]I can relate, but I she dumped me 3-5 months ago, and I still think about her every single day. I try not too, and that is why I am trying to find a new girl, it is just too hard...
(12-30-2011, 11:29 PM)AceInfinity Wrote: [ -> ]I think the issue here is that you miss the feeling of having someone around close by. So when you're not with this girl in the picture, you don't feel like you love her because it was only the feeling that you liked. You've grown attached to the feeling of being loved, probably not the person.
The girl in the picture is my ex girlfriend.
Who is the girl in the other thread then? That's the one i'm talking about
Sounds to me like you don't actually want to move on...
Some people pose the question like this to hope and pray that others suggest what you're already thinking and have already decided whether you realize it or not individually. It's just reassurance for what you may think you know you already want to do. I would agree with King's last statement as well. It seems like you don't want to move on, but you're looking to see a post that agrees with what you want to read as a reply. Perfectly identified as human nature for me, so it's common.
If's like stealing from the cookie jar, you ask yourself if you should or not, but in reality, you're probably going to do it anyway, as you've already made up your mind. You just need an excuse for doing so.
If you don't want to move on, I don't know what to say, it's a tough subject. But if you just want out of the way you're currently feeling, then you need to distance yourself from her, and hang out with some friends more often. Unfortunately you're hanging out with another girl, and it's reminding your subconscious about how good it felt to be around a girl that you can connect with emotionally (as a friend of course) but being that it's so soon after a break up (which is what I assume here) you want to relate it to the higher sense of feeling wanted on a more intimate/close level.
Tough to let go of something that you cherish, and that goes for most everything.
(12-30-2011, 11:42 PM)King Wrote: [ -> ]Sounds to me like you don't actually want to move on...
Trust me, I would love more than anything to date her again, she was the most perfect girl I have ever met. But I do not think it will ever happen again, so I feel I need to move on.
(12-30-2011, 11:49 PM)AceInfinity Wrote: [ -> ]Some people pose the question like this to hope and pray that others suggest what you're already thinking and have already decided whether you realize it or not individually. It's just reassurance for what you may think you know you already want to do. I would agree with King's last statement as well. It seems like you don't want to move on, but you're looking to see a post that agrees with what you want to read as a reply. Perfectly identified as human nature for me, so it's common.
If's like stealing from the cookie jar, you ask yourself if you should or not, but in reality, you're probably going to do it anyway, as you've already made up your mind. You just need an excuse for doing so.
If you don't want to move on, I don't know what to say, it's a tough subject. But if you just want out of the way you're currently feeling, then you need to distance yourself from her, and hang out with some friends more often. Unfortunately you're hanging out with another girl, and it's reminding your subconscious about how good it felt to be around a girl that you can connect with emotionally (as a friend of course) but being that it's so soon after a break up (which is what I assume here) you want to relate it to the higher sense of feeling wanted on a more intimate/close level.
Tough to let go of something that you cherish, and that goes for most everything.
I know I want to have her back, and I have already made up my mind about that. But I am just looking for some support on what I should do, I still think about her all the time, even though I think it will never happen again.
If I stopped hanging out with the new girl I guess I would stop feeling this way. What should I do? I would not talk to her anymore, But She is one of my best friends :/
(12-31-2011, 12:22 AM)Juicy Booty Wrote: [ -> ]Trust me, I would love more than anything to date her again, she was the most perfect girl I have ever met. But I do not think it will ever happen again, so I feel I need to move on.
(12-30-2011, 11:49 PM)AceInfinity Wrote: [ -> ]Some people pose the question like this to hope and pray that others suggest what you're already thinking and have already decided whether you realize it or not individually. It's just reassurance for what you may think you know you already want to do. I would agree with King's last statement as well. It seems like you don't want to move on, but you're looking to see a post that agrees with what you want to read as a reply. Perfectly identified as human nature for me, so it's common.
If's like stealing from the cookie jar, you ask yourself if you should or not, but in reality, you're probably going to do it anyway, as you've already made up your mind. You just need an excuse for doing so.
If you don't want to move on, I don't know what to say, it's a tough subject. But if you just want out of the way you're currently feeling, then you need to distance yourself from her, and hang out with some friends more often. Unfortunately you're hanging out with another girl, and it's reminding your subconscious about how good it felt to be around a girl that you can connect with emotionally (as a friend of course) but being that it's so soon after a break up (which is what I assume here) you want to relate it to the higher sense of feeling wanted on a more intimate/close level.
Tough to let go of something that you cherish, and that goes for most everything.
I know I want to have her back, and I have already made up my mind about that. But I am just looking for some support on what I should do, I still think about her all the time, even though I think it will never happen again.
If I stopped hanging out with the new girl I guess I would stop feeling this way. What should I do? I would not talk to her anymore, But She is one of my best friends :/
Okay, forget the new girl. We're pursuing the old girl now. :p I think we all agree that you'd rather be with OG (old girl) rather than NG (new girl), right?
Let me ask you this? Do you think there's a chance that she still has any feelings for you? I'm the perfect example in this situation. My ex-girlfriend and I have dated 3 times in total. Everyone (my friends and her friends said we were stupid), but we had a good run.
Basically, the first time we dated, we broke up like everyone else. Then, one day several months later, we started talking again and decided we'd try it again. Turns out that not only I had feelings for her, but she was willing to try it again.
We rinsed, washed, and repeated that process one more time. Now, having broken up for the third and final time, I no longer have any feelings for her.
This is the stage you need to reach. You can't get here unless you try it again, OR figure out some easier way to get over her.
Often, people don't get over something unless it was their decision. Sounds to me like she dumped you - meaning it was not your decision. You weren't done with her. I think you need to find that closure and try again mate.
(12-31-2011, 01:13 AM)King Wrote: [ -> ]I know I want to have her back, and I have already made up my mind about that. But I am just looking for some support on what I should do, I still think about her all the time, even though I think it will never happen again.
If I stopped hanging out with the new girl I guess I would stop feeling this way. What should I do? I would not talk to her anymore, But She is one of my best friends :/
Okay, forget the new girl. We're pursuing the old girl now. :p I think we all agree that you'd rather be with OG (old girl) rather than NG (new girl), right?
Let me ask you this? Do you think there's a chance that she still has any feelings for you? I'm the perfect example in this situation. My ex-girlfriend and I have dated 3 times in total. Everyone (my friends and her friends said we were stupid), but we had a good run.
Basically, the first time we dated, we broke up like everyone else. Then, one day several months later, we started talking again and decided we'd try it again. Turns out that not only I had feelings for her, but she was willing to try it again.
We rinsed, washed, and repeated that process one more time. Now, having broken up for the third and final time, I no longer have any feelings for her.
This is the stage you need to reach. You can't get here unless you try it again, OR figure out some easier way to get over her.
Often, people won't get over something unless it was their decision. Sounds to me like she dumped you - meaning it was not your decision. You weren't done with her. I think you need to find that closure and try again mate.
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I have dated her twice now, and I STILL have feelings for her, and for some reason I think she still has feelings for me in a way. I thought we were going to go out again, but now she is dating some 17 year old guy
So I am just not sure what I should do.