I've never had friends. At all. Never anyone to count on or trust. And when I think about what it would be to be happy, I mainly think of having friends. When I think of what I wanted out of life, too. Throughout my entire life, I didn't talk to people. People didn't talk to me, except if they felt like calling me a whore. My mother made my suicide attempt about her. She said I was trying to manipulate her. I heard her tell someone it made her afraid I was going to hurt her. Like suicidal and homicidal are the same. I don't feel like I'm ever going to be able to feel like anyone else does, because I don't think or act like anyone else does. I wish I'd had friends in school. I wish I would have gone to parties instead of getting drugged up and felt up at the pool across from the school. I wish I could have had fun in the summer while school was out. I wish I could have had careless fun. And now people my age are changing and moving on without me. Getting jobs and getting broken hearts. Babies, even. They are real people. People that grow up and change. The time to do the things I wanted to do is ending. So I've given up on having hopes. I feel better giving up. A numbness, really. Not like before, when I had expectations. There was another life that I should have had, but I'm having this one. So this... giving up? Is this acceptance?
Acceptance is being respected and assimilated into a larger community among friends and peers.
How old are you, anyways?
(12-15-2011, 05:26 AM)D3xus Wrote: [ -> ]Acceptance is being respected and assimilated into a larger community among friends and peers.
How old are you, anyways?
This ^
I really want to know your age
(12-14-2011, 11:57 PM)Cykn Wrote: [ -> ]I've never had friends. At all. Never anyone to count on or trust. And when I think about what it would be to be happy, I mainly think of having friends. When I think of what I wanted out of life, too. Throughout my entire life, I didn't talk to people. People didn't talk to me, except if they felt like calling me a whore. My mother made my suicide attempt about her. She said I was trying to manipulate her. I heard her tell someone it made her afraid I was going to hurt her. Like suicidal and homicidal are the same. I don't feel like I'm ever going to be able to feel like anyone else does, because I don't think or act like anyone else does. I wish I'd had friends in school. I wish I would have gone to parties instead of getting drugged up and felt up at the pool across from the school. I wish I could have had fun in the summer while school was out. I wish I could have had careless fun. And now people my age are changing and moving on without me. Getting jobs and getting broken hearts. Babies, even. They are real people. People that grow up and change. The time to do the things I wanted to do is ending. So I've given up on having hopes. I feel better giving up. A numbness, really. Not like before, when I had expectations. There was another life that I should have had, but I'm having this one. So this... giving up? Is this acceptance?
I wouldn't worry about the past, you can still go to parties and crap now. You can also do some drugs, fudge it. It makes everything x10 better. Just don't do anything really bad like crystal meth or something like that. Because that is bad lol. Also, if you are scared to go to parties just think of two things, for one, If everyone is drinking, everyone will be so drunk, they won't even know who you are and if they do know who you are, then they will be nice because they are drunk and don't care. If someone is mean when they are drunk, you can just laugh at them because they are drunk and will most likely act stupid. If that doesn't work, just bring some weed and everyone will love you. <3
I'm sixteen.
(12-15-2011, 12:51 PM)๖ۣۜHacker™ Wrote: [ -> ]I wouldn't worry about the past, you can still go to parties and crap now. You can also do some drugs, fudge it. It makes everything x10 better. Just don't do anything really bad like crystal meth or something like that. Because that is bad lol. Also, if you are scared to go to parties just think of two things, for one, If everyone is drinking, everyone will be so drunk, they won't even know who you are and if they do know who you are, then they will be nice because they are drunk and don't care. If someone is mean when they are drunk, you can just laugh at them because they are drunk and will most likely act stupid. If that doesn't work, just bring some weed and everyone will love you. <3
I don't want to do drugs. I used to, and I don't like how it makes me feel. And I can't go to parties because I don't know anyone. People from high school just know me as a whore. I don't know what I did to them, but if I showed up at a high school party, I don't know what they'd do.
(12-15-2011, 01:51 PM)Cykn Wrote: [ -> ]I'm sixteen.
I don't want to do drugs. I used to, and I don't like how it makes me feel. And I can't go to parties because I don't know anyone. People from high school just know me as a whore. I don't know what I did to them, but if I showed up at a high school party, I don't know what they'd do.
If you don't know the reason why the people are you calling you a whore, then, stand up for yourself, ask them 'Why are you calling me a whore, what have I done?' And don't swell on the past, think about the future, and how you can change and become the better person. Be more friendly, walk up to someone and just say Hi, then try to engage in a conversation. Because that's the only you can make friends, by talking.
LOL Story time, I remember last year, a girl asked me if I played any DotA, and that was the first question she ever asked me, and it was the first time she talked ot me and now we're friends. Haha (:
So yeah, try to start conversions with people, jokes around...
Good luck!~
~Xuanson.
(12-15-2011, 05:49 PM)Xuanson Wrote: [ -> ]If you don't know the reason why the people are you calling you a whore, then, stand up for yourself, ask them 'Why are you calling me a whore, what have I done?' And don't swell on the past, think about the future, and how you can change and become the better person. Be more friendly, walk up to someone and just say Hi, then try to engage in a conversation. Because that's the only you can make friends, by talking.
LOL Story time, I remember last year, a girl asked me if I played any DotA, and that was the first question she ever asked me, and it was the first time she talked ot me and now we're friends. Haha (:
So yeah, try to start conversions with people, jokes around...
Good luck!~
~Xuanson.
I couldn't just go up and talk to people, because talking to me was social suicide. I'm done with school now anyways, that was just an example.
How are your living conditions currently? I remember on HF you said you had some trouble with that.
(12-16-2011, 06:34 PM)skorch Wrote: [ -> ]How are your living conditions currently? I remember on HF you said you had some trouble with that.
My mother is going to let me live with her long enough to get a drivers' licence. It'll be easier for me to get a job after that, and I have a place to stay while I look for other arrangements. So that's good I guess.
Well, try skydiving and then tell me what you think about life.
Also, you don't have to limit your options, walk to the next town, go to a park or a mall, and start fresh.