Well as it turns out, I met the beautiful and wonderful girl, Jacie. Well, I made a personal vow as a young child that I would never, under any circumstance get emotionally involved with ANYONE. But as it turns out, I feel like a pile of crap. I slept with her last night; and today since she has a job and college, I feel like I am about to have a major emotional breakdown. I usually write songs/stories/poetry, but everything is failing miserably. Major Emotionless Fail.
(10-25-2009, 04:26 PM)Аноним Интерфейс Wrote: [ -> ]I made a personal vow as a young child that I would never, under any circumstance get emotionally involved with ANYONE.
And at that time in your life were you emotionally developed and mature enough to make that decision? I doubt it. IMO it is never a bad thing to reevaluate your morals, values and beliefs because we all know bad things happen when you are living by ones that are outdated. You and the world around you changes over time, it's part of life. Let go.
(10-26-2009, 12:12 AM)Tim Wrote: [ -> ]And at that time in your life were you emotionally developed and mature enough to make that decision? I doubt it. IMO it is never a bad thing to reevaluate your morals, values and beliefs because we all know bad things happen when you are living by ones that are outdated. You and the world around you changes over time, it's part of life. Let go.
Yes, but you must realize the situation behind the decision. I had been hurt, abandoned, beat, tortured, and neglected; I had every right to make that decision with a very reasonable motive. And thus, I survived by retaliation and murder due to self-defense. After the first death, you don't feel anything any more; and I refused to feel it. And so I struggled as I moved from home-to-home in the SC DSS custody until I was about 14. At that point I was adopted by who is now my dad. And therefor I had no need for this emotionless lifestyle; however, it is tough after many years of a lifestyle to rid yourself of it. But now that I have this beautiful lady in my life, I am afraid of what might be left of me.
Are you actually together as a couple, or are you just sleeping with her?
Just relax man, take a breather. The vow prolly wasen't the best thing to make because everyone always has emotional breakdowns, Don't worrie you will get through it. What usualy helps me is listening to music, or watching hockey videos.
Hope you get better bud.
Sit down. Think clear your mind and just be relaxed. Think of your vows again. Are teh realistic? Can you actaully hold them?
Quote from Thrice
"What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets"
I recomend you don't end up like that song, and make some sense of your life again. You had one before, now you just need to rebuild one. I know its hard, but it will be a hard steady ide.
Just think.. by being depressed that way for something that you should be happy of is already emotion.. Emotionless means knowing nothing, doing nothing and thinking of nothing.. It's better to experience pain, heartache, and what you experience now than regret it.. I regret it, I was like that when I was young, I told myself I don't need anyone.. The computer is the only thing i need.. In the long run I ended up miserable.. I dont go out with friends and thought that everyone around me thinks ill of me.. I only realized it when i had my first GirlFriend.. Having someone to take care makes you feel you can do anything..
Try to keep contact with her as much as you can .It's not over yet buddy.