Ever since I was a little kid I was always very independent. I remember that even in preschool I liked to play with my blocks and my play-doh by myself rather than with the group. Throughout grade school I hated having to get into groups because I hated the stress and the pressure of having to fit myself with others or find proper candidates to work with. I hated teamwork stuff because I hated having to rely on others and I always elected to work by myself on projects. Whenever I am forced to work in groups I always tried to just make myself the leader and tell everyone else what to do so that I won't have to talk to them as much. Or I would just do all the work myself.
I always thought that this was 'independent' behaviour but now I think it is just being anti-social. I don't really have a lot of friends. I only have like two or three friends that I ever really ever hang out with. I can really only handle that many at a time. I have only had one person that I really felt comfortable with; a former girlfriend of mine. Only three people in my life that I have really had an adult relationship with. I don't like spending time with my family. Only one person at a time. I really like my grandpa and my father but that is it. The rest of my family I don't care about as much. I don't feel that much of an attachment to my nuclear family. My grandpa is an exception though. He is my best friend. But I think that everyone loves their grandpa.
I have trouble making conversation and sustaining conversation with people that I don't know. I have trouble befriending people. No one really talks to me anymore because they all know that I am no fun to talk to. (I think this is because I have nothing in common with what everyone else my age. The things that I like are very different from what all these other teenagers like.) I can talk to people and I don't get freaked out when someone talks to me, it is just that whenever I start talking to a person it is to get information, I don't really have much of an interest in sustaining conversation once I have the information that I need. Don't get me wrong, I know how to talk, I can use words to get what I want or to prove a point. I consider myself a good debater and a good public speaker. I can talk to large groups of people about a subject that I know about or a topic but I can't talk to people with menial conversation.
Sometimes I feel like everyone I know is really juvenile and immature and superficial and I am the only real mature one. I get along better with adults than I do with people my own age.
I can control my emotions really well. I never let any emotion control me and I never put my emotions in the hands of anyone else. If something goes wrong I can only blame myself and that is the way I like it. I don't like to rely on people. I am kinda cold because of how emotionless I am. I am not easily angered, I very rarely ever lose my temper. I don't think I have ever lost my temper from what I can remember. I always put up fronts so that no one ever knows how I am feeling. I choose to keep that to myself. I hide all my negative emotions or suppress them. I am mentally tough and it is not easy to break me down. I am still a pessimist most of the time though. I am very self reliant and self sufficient.
I don't like my siblings. (They are all at least ten years younger than me and all toddlers. I like my dog more than them. I like my dog and my houseplant because I can talk to them and they never say anything back. Excellent conversation partners for me.
I am kinda concerned about this after
reading an article.
The article says that anti social people grow up to be criminals. Some of the signs that the article says anti-social people display and the ones that I also share are:
-Is manipulative, lies or cons his way through situations.
-Will not follow rules, enjoys breaking the law.
-Steals. (I steal from stores, never from people. Stealing from people is wrong.)
-Is arrogant and overly confident.
-Likes to set fires.
I don't want to grow up to be a bad criminal but I don't know if what I am experiencing is normal or a real problem. Is this a real problem that I should be concerned about? What are your opinions?
Well to be honest with you, I've only just started this forum today but i cant help but notice how a personalities relate. I also am not very attached too my family. I've recently lost someone in my family but i felt nothing. No sadness or remorse.. Nothing.. I too was concerned about the apparent lack of feeling and anti social behavior. I decided too really look into it and started seeing a therapist. (Not because i had some type of disorder but because i felt it would be healthy). Bu the more i see her the more i seem too enjoy life. I've recently became more social and life seems richer. I don't think that anti social behavior is unhealthy but i do believe that life would be richer if you tried to be a little more social. Sometimes you may need some help of someone you can talk too
(07-30-2011, 08:10 PM)Annuit Coeptis Wrote: [ -> ]-Steals. (I steal from stores, never from people. Stealing from people is wrong.)
I don't really know much about anti-social behaviour, but the statement you said above is wrong. You're stealing from people again, from the store owners. Also, have you tought about the people who work there? They can get lower paychecks or even get fired because of the missing goods.
You grow up into a person you decide, not others. You won't become a criminal if you don't let yourself do it. Also, try not to set fires or anything. I know it's fun (
) sometimes, but learn to control yourself.
It all depends on your age. How old are you? If you are under the age of 18, you still have enough time to grow out of it. Just go to Group Therapy, it will help, but at the same time, it will be tough in the beginning, I was in a Group Therapy program for 2-3 years, from when I was 12-15. Its made me learn how to react in a group, I was exactly the same way. Now its not as stressful, anxiety-inducing, and/or depressing. I used to seclude myself from everyone, I'd hide in my room all by myself playing RuneScape or watch videos on YouTube, all day, all summer, and I'd skip school a lot, just to stay away from people. I hated everyone. Eventually I got out there, joined the Football team, and started to eventually fit in. You will get there, don't worry. Good luck.
I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon, and say you're anti-social.
Really it's quite common to not get along with your parents and siblings, especially at that age.
You may be more mature than the people, and that's fine really, but to live a great life there is some steps you might want to take.
Get a therapist. - Some people (including me) HATE that idea, if you are comfortable getting one, do it, if not, don't.
Do little things every day.
Say, one week everyday, take a little jog in your neighborhood, doesn't have to be long, but it will help you.
Next week, go with your parents to shops, events, etc.
Some days, try to hang out with your friends, play video games, play football, have a little fun!
And maybe, if you're up to it (only if you're willing!) join a team for your school. Either it be baseball, or any sport you like. Chess, after school social events. You know!
These may not sound all that great, but if you start with little things like going shopping, and taking a few jogs, it will be a lot funner and all while you're having fun, you'll becoming a lot more social, and you won't even realise it until later!
Hope I helped!
- Mark
That article doesn't seem legit I'll tell you that, but if your concerned anyways stick to your morals. If you still don't wanna hang with friends at least try, honestly if it doesn't work out find different friends.
(07-30-2011, 08:10 PM)Annuit Coeptis Wrote: [ -> ]Ever since I was a little kid I was always very independent. I remember that even in preschool I liked to play with my blocks and my play-doh by myself rather than with the group. Throughout grade school I hated having to get into groups because I hated the stress and the pressure of having to fit myself with others or find proper candidates to work with. I hated teamwork stuff because I hated having to rely on others and I always elected to work by myself on projects. Whenever I am forced to work in groups I always tried to just make myself the leader and tell everyone else what to do so that I won't have to talk to them as much. Or I would just do all the work myself.
I always thought that this was 'independent' behaviour but now I think it is just being anti-social. I don't really have a lot of friends. I only have like two or three friends that I ever really ever hang out with. I can really only handle that many at a time. I have only had one person that I really felt comfortable with; a former girlfriend of mine. Only three people in my life that I have really had an adult relationship with. I don't like spending time with my family. Only one person at a time. I really like my grandpa and my father but that is it. The rest of my family I don't care about as much. I don't feel that much of an attachment to my nuclear family. My grandpa is an exception though. He is my best friend. But I think that everyone loves their grandpa.
I have trouble making conversation and sustaining conversation with people that I don't know. I have trouble befriending people. No one really talks to me anymore because they all know that I am no fun to talk to. (I think this is because I have nothing in common with what everyone else my age. The things that I like are very different from what all these other teenagers like.) I can talk to people and I don't get freaked out when someone talks to me, it is just that whenever I start talking to a person it is to get information, I don't really have much of an interest in sustaining conversation once I have the information that I need. Don't get me wrong, I know how to talk, I can use words to get what I want or to prove a point. I consider myself a good debater and a good public speaker. I can talk to large groups of people about a subject that I know about or a topic but I can't talk to people with menial conversation.
Sometimes I feel like everyone I know is really juvenile and immature and superficial and I am the only real mature one. I get along better with adults than I do with people my own age.
I can control my emotions really well. I never let any emotion control me and I never put my emotions in the hands of anyone else. If something goes wrong I can only blame myself and that is the way I like it. I don't like to rely on people. I am kinda cold because of how emotionless I am. I am not easily angered, I very rarely ever lose my temper. I don't think I have ever lost my temper from what I can remember. I always put up fronts so that no one ever knows how I am feeling. I choose to keep that to myself. I hide all my negative emotions or suppress them. I am mentally tough and it is not easy to break me down. I am still a pessimist most of the time though. I am very self reliant and self sufficient.
I don't like my siblings. (They are all at least ten years younger than me and all toddlers. I like my dog more than them. I like my dog and my houseplant because I can talk to them and they never say anything back. Excellent conversation partners for me.
I am kinda concerned about this after reading an article.
The article says that anti social people grow up to be criminals. Some of the signs that the article says anti-social people display and the ones that I also share are:
-Is manipulative, lies or cons his way through situations.
-Will not follow rules, enjoys breaking the law.
-Steals. (I steal from stores, never from people. Stealing from people is wrong.)
-Is arrogant and overly confident.
-Likes to set fires.
I don't want to grow up to be a bad criminal but I don't know if what I am experiencing is normal or a real problem. Is this a real problem that I should be concerned about? What are your opinions?
Hey man, I enjoy doing all those things. It doesn't make me a criminal, you say how you have your own personallaity and keep your emotions to yourself. However, from seeing this it makes me think nothing of this thread is completely true. How you say you're independent, but I don't remember leaders really caring what others said, expecually an article. You're a leader, just use your skills for good and try your best to stay good, it may be hard but you'll get the hang of it.
It seems to me that you're really smart, but I don't get how you can say "I steal from stores, never from people. Stealing from people is wrong." You should know that the manager/owner of that store has a family to feed and to be the one to say that makes me beleive you're still immature, when you clearly state you are not at all immature. Kids and teenagers are the only two groups that steal from stores. Adults do too, but adults who do usually have issues in life and can't be an honest person.
Make your own desicians, you're a leader.
I am pretty much like you. I don't usually talk too much, even when I'm with friends I just stand quietly. If they want something, ask something etc I ofcourse answer, but I keep a lot of things to myself. And yeah I am a computer geek, I love my PC. I guess I am kinda anti-social too, and sometimes when I am alone at home I just drink some alcohol, get drunk and sleep. Being like this is not specifically a bad thing, and I doubt that I'll be a criminal. I wanna have a big company and do lots of programming after I finish universe/college. If you're like that you don't need to change, that is my opinion.
(07-30-2011, 08:37 PM)Silouette Wrote: [ -> ]Well to be honest with you, I've only just started this forum today but i cant help but notice how a personalities relate. I also am not very attached too my family. I've recently lost someone in my family but i felt nothing. No sadness or remorse.. Nothing.. I too was concerned about the apparent lack of feeling and anti social behavior. I decided too really look into it and started seeing a therapist. (Not because i had some type of disorder but because i felt it would be healthy). Bu the more i see her the more i seem too enjoy life. I've recently became more social and life seems richer. I don't think that anti social behavior is unhealthy but i do believe that life would be richer if you tried to be a little more social. Sometimes you may need some help of someone you can talk too
I am not depressed or anything. I can be happy by myself but I get what you're saying. Being happy with someone else makes it more fun.
Quote:I don't really know much about anti-social behaviour, but the statement you said above is wrong. You're stealing from people again, from the store owners. Also, have you tought about the people who work there? They can get lower paychecks or even get fired because of the missing goods.
You grow up into a person you decide, not others. You won't become a criminal if you don't let yourself do it. Also, try not to set fires or anything. I know it's fun () sometimes, but learn to control yourself.
Mom and pop stores are off limits, they are just trying to make a living. This is more of a political statement to me rather than a social one. I live in the united states and I believe that this country has the means to be able to feed every single human in this country. I just think about all the people that are starving and I think to myself, "Why can't these people get a meal, there is so much food in this country that goes to waste or just never ends up to those who need it. Something like 30% of retail theft is committed by employees.
(07-30-2011, 10:01 PM)GmZ Wrote: [ -> ]It all depends on your age. How old are you? If you are under the age of 18, you still have enough time to grow out of it. Just go to Group Therapy, it will help, but at the same time, it will be tough in the beginning, I was in a Group Therapy program for 2-3 years, from when I was 12-15. Its made me learn how to react in a group, I was exactly the same way. Now its not as stressful, anxiety-inducing, and/or depressing. I used to seclude myself from everyone, I'd hide in my room all by myself playing RuneScape or watch videos on YouTube, all day, all summer, and I'd skip school a lot, just to stay away from people. I hated everyone. Eventually I got out there, joined the Football team, and started to eventually fit in. You will get there, don't worry. Good luck.
You're probably right. I don't think I have an extreme case but it is enough to be noticeable.
(07-31-2011, 07:47 AM)Epicly Wrote: [ -> ]That article doesn't seem legit I'll tell you that, but if your concerned anyways stick to your morals. If you still don't wanna hang with friends at least try, honestly if it doesn't work out find different friends.
Ha, find different friends. Easier said than done.
(07-31-2011, 08:34 AM)jhfire Wrote: [ -> ]Hey man, I enjoy doing all those things. It doesn't make me a criminal, you say how you have your own personallaity and keep your emotions to yourself. However, from seeing this it makes me think nothing of this thread is completely true. How you say you're independent, but I don't remember leaders really caring what others said, expecually an article. You're a leader, just use your skills for good and try your best to stay good, it may be hard but you'll get the hang of it.
It seems to me that you're really smart, but I don't get how you can say "I steal from stores, never from people. Stealing from people is wrong." You should know that the manager/owner of that store has a family to feed and to be the one to say that makes me beleive you're still immature, when you clearly state you are not at all immature. Kids and teenagers are the only two groups that steal from stores. Adults do too, but adults who do usually have issues in life and can't be an honest person.
Make your own desicians, you're a leader.
I consider myself a leader but I am also humble. I give the professional credit where it is due. There is a difference between being a leader and being single minded and bossy and inconsiderate. My views about theft are derived from my political beliefs. Fighting corporate greed is my deal.
(07-31-2011, 09:03 AM)Napalm™ Wrote: [ -> ]I am pretty much like you. I don't usually talk too much, even when I'm with friends I just stand quietly. If they want something, ask something etc I ofcourse answer, but I keep a lot of things to myself. And yeah I am a computer geek, I love my PC. I guess I am kinda anti-social too, and sometimes when I am alone at home I just drink some alcohol, get drunk and sleep. Being like this is not specifically a bad thing, and I doubt that I'll be a criminal. I wanna have a big company and do lots of programming after I finish universe/college. If you're like that you don't need to change, that is my opinion.
Awe, drink yourself to sleep? Wouldn't you say that is a bad thing? I don't feel depressed, I am happy with who I am. You're older than me and you say your fine so I feel like I have nothing to worry about. My choice of profession really only requires me to be socially interactive on a professional level so I will be alright.
(07-31-2011, 04:13 AM)Mark Zuckerberg Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon, and say you're anti-social.
Really it's quite common to not get along with your parents and siblings, especially at that age.
You may be more mature than the people, and that's fine really, but to live a great life there is some steps you might want to take.
Get a therapist. - Some people (including me) HATE that idea, if you are comfortable getting one, do it, if not, don't.
Do little things every day.
Say, one week everyday, take a little jog in your neighborhood, doesn't have to be long, but it will help you.
Next week, go with your parents to shops, events, etc.
Some days, try to hang out with your friends, play video games, play football, have a little fun!
And maybe, if you're up to it (only if you're willing!) join a team for your school. Either it be baseball, or any sport you like. Chess, after school social events. You know!
These may not sound all that great, but if you start with little things like going shopping, and taking a few jogs, it will be a lot funner and all while you're having fun, you'll becoming a lot more social, and you won't even realise it until later!
Hope I helped!
- Mark
Why should I trust MARK ZUCKERBURG. He just wants me to be social so that I look at more ads on his website. Haha, just kidding. I'm definitely willing to join. I guess it will just take practice. I will do some things like that and see how it goes.
I didn't say it would be easy, nor would it be hard; Different for everyone and location.