03-06-2011, 08:03 PM
Hey everyone, within the last few months I've gotten pretty good at making music and lyrics, I'd like to share a song I wrote that I need some critique on. Because I've sorta hit a point where its hard to get better at making music with trial/error.
All I ask is that you don't steal what I make (no matter how horrible it sounds
) and that you don't insult me, there is a difference between critique and just plain out insulting someone.
Heavy (just me working with a distorted guitar)
Some rap song (I wouldn't really call this rap but I don't really know what else to classify it as \__-(O_o)-__/ )
The Greater Loss
Here are the lyrics to The Greater Loss:
All this time I had to spend
I lied to myself again
An investment I thought I'd win
I didn't have any use for this
------
In my mind there is no light
Nothing will let me think just right
How could you think I won't fight?
This is not something you can win
------
In the end there is a call
You might not hear it you might fall
Listen up or you'll regret it all
I want you to remember this
------
If I'm going down your coming with me
To be honest it would set me free
To escape the binds of reality
I really can't wait to see what's on the other side
------
Again and again we want to find
Some place that we can hide
Facing the truth is hard to do
I will not turn out like you
------
Some rap song (havent really thought of a name) lyrics:
Go with the show
When everything and everyone is slow
You never know
Well it really can't hurt to ask
I mean noone ever starts out riding first class
If you do you never really were built to last
You can't find out who you were if you don't try
Dont fill yourself up with your pointless lies
Ya never really know what you might find
it just takes time so keep that in your mind
How did we get here in the first place?
What is left for us to face?
_____
Remember: these are the ones I need help on, most of the music I make isn't half bad
All I ask is that you don't steal what I make (no matter how horrible it sounds
) and that you don't insult me, there is a difference between critique and just plain out insulting someone.Heavy (just me working with a distorted guitar)
Some rap song (I wouldn't really call this rap but I don't really know what else to classify it as \__-(O_o)-__/ )
The Greater Loss
Here are the lyrics to The Greater Loss:
All this time I had to spend
I lied to myself again
An investment I thought I'd win
I didn't have any use for this
------
In my mind there is no light
Nothing will let me think just right
How could you think I won't fight?
This is not something you can win
------
In the end there is a call
You might not hear it you might fall
Listen up or you'll regret it all
I want you to remember this
------
If I'm going down your coming with me
To be honest it would set me free
To escape the binds of reality
I really can't wait to see what's on the other side
------
Again and again we want to find
Some place that we can hide
Facing the truth is hard to do
I will not turn out like you
------
Some rap song (havent really thought of a name) lyrics:
Go with the show
When everything and everyone is slow
You never know
Well it really can't hurt to ask
I mean noone ever starts out riding first class
If you do you never really were built to last
You can't find out who you were if you don't try
Dont fill yourself up with your pointless lies
Ya never really know what you might find
it just takes time so keep that in your mind
How did we get here in the first place?
What is left for us to face?
_____
Remember: these are the ones I need help on, most of the music I make isn't half bad