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(01-20-2011, 04:32 AM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]I always got beaten, everyday in my childhood. So the pain became addictive.

This may be more of a sign of a lack of confrontation. When you were a child, did you like being hurt? Or did that just come in the later years? This "addiction" just might be a reaction of you trying to convince yourself that the beating is not over yet because you haven't settled it with whoever beats you up back then. Maybe you should go and confront that person. Please take care of yourself, and I hope this can help you out.

(01-21-2011, 03:59 AM)Mao Wrote: [ -> ]This may be more of a sign of a lack of confrontation. When you were a child, did you like being hurt? Or did that just come in the later years? This "addiction" just might be a reaction of you trying to convince yourself that the beating is not over yet because you haven't settled it with whoever beats you up back then. Maybe you should go and confront that person. Please take care of yourself, and I hope this can help you out.

This would require me to confront lots of random people I do not know.
A lot of my old classmates and people who used to be my friends.
And also my dad.

I have no intentions to confront any of them.

And no, I hated being beat up as a kid, but I didn't do anything to stop it either, I guess I just were helpless, since I have never told any adults, I had/have my pride.

Just, when I became best friends with a strong guy, the beatings stopped and it was weird. After that, I haven't been beaten up for like 4 years and its like something is missing from my life.

(01-21-2011, 04:55 AM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]This would require me to confront lots of random people I do not know.
A lot of my old classmates and people who used to be my friends.
And also my dad.

I have no intentions to confront any of them.

And no, I hated being beat up as a kid, but I didn't do anything to stop it either, I guess I just were helpless, since I have never told any adults, I had/have my pride.

Just, when I became best friends with a strong guy, the beatings stopped and it was weird. After that, I haven't been beaten up for like 4 years and its like something is missing from my life.

Sir, probably confronting your dad would help. Obviously, a father is a big part of a child/person's life. You may have associated this beating with your father, and when it disappeared, so did the image of your father. That probably led you to looking for that same beating, but none would fill up your expectations so you keep looking for more.

I have no father, at least that is what I keep repeating to myself.
And frankly, I do not see him as a father.

Iv already beat him up too and confronted him with that.

(01-21-2011, 05:32 AM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]I have no father, at least that is what I keep repeating to myself.
And frankly, I do not see him as a father.

Iv already beat him up too and confronted him with that.

Oh. Well, NekoChan, please don't take this as anything offensive, but I think that is why you are constantly looking for pain. Sir, this is my opinion, since you had a father that constantly hurt you before, a major thing that you may have subconsciously associated with a "father" is pain. Now, since you denounce him as your father, you look for an alternative since it feels sort of incomplete without a father. This alternative is that same thing that you have associated with a father figure.

P.S. Take care of yourself man. We only have one body, once it's broken, we can't replace it.

Thanx for all your help Mao.

(01-21-2011, 05:57 AM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]Thanx for all your help Mao.

Your welcome, I really do hope that helps. I don't like it when people hurt themselves...

I hate my dad so very much. Tho he gives me cash.

But its just so irritating, when I see him.