I'm not that good at poems on the spot, but here I go.
~~~
Supportforums is the place to be.
Hackforums is mostly low quality.
Everyone here is so kind and nice.
I always look here if I need advice.
Sure, Hackforums is fun at times.
And yeah, I'd make a few dimes.
But Supportforums is superbly beast.
We are 10 times better at the least.
~~~
How is it?
(Keep in mind I made this on the spot within 5 minutes.)
Very nice! I like it! Very creative.
Bad use of syllables. Be(1) and quality(3) for example.
(12-21-2010, 07:39 PM)Radioactive. Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not that good at poems on the spot, but here I go.
~~~
Supportforums is the place to be.
Hackforums is mostly low quality.
Everyone here is so kind and nice.
I always look here if I need advice.
Sure, Hackforums is fun at times.
And yeah, I'd make a few dimes.
But Supportforums is superbly beast.
We are 10 times better at the least.
~~~
How is it?
(Keep in mind I made this on the spot within 5 minutes.)
On the spot its an okay poem, but as Solidus said you need to work on your syllables.
For a 5 minute or less poem that was quite good, I'm sure if you put more effort into it next time you won't get a remark from solidus like that:3
(12-21-2010, 08:17 PM)Solidus Wrote: [ -> ]Bad use of syllables. Be(1) and quality(3) for example.
Apart from that you took no notice of the Iambic Pentameter. It really does not sound very good. You think poems are merely about rhyming at the end? Nonononono. There is much more to it. Think of a 'Shakespearean Sonnet'. Those types of poems are poems to be reckoned with. I wrote some nice poems in my time, I might try to dig some out for you guys.
That's very good. Thumbs up. I really wouldn't change one word.
Wow, it's a beacon of truth
