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Burning heart.
by ~ExtraLov3

Engulfing flame takes your soul, Your foul words take their toll, A silent wish to have me dead, To fill my body full of lead. A parting kiss as you lay me down, A simple word, a mournful frown. You whisper to me, "There was no we". The silence fell, it got it's way, that fateful night, that week in May.

(12-06-2010, 07:09 PM)Extra Wrote: [ -> ]Burning heart.
by ~ExtraLov3

Engulfing flame takes your soul, Your foul words take their toll, A silent wish to have me dead, To fill my body full of lead. A parting kiss as you lay me down, A simple word, a mournful frown. You whisper to me, "There was no we". The silence fell, it got it's way, that fateful night, that week in May.

I love it, save for mournful. I would replace it, the pronunciation is off from the rest of the poem.

(12-06-2010, 07:18 PM)xerotic Wrote: [ -> ]I love it, save for mournful. I would replace it, the pronunciation is off from the rest of the poem.

Thanks ;D What word should I replace it with?