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Very nice poem. I love the structure and the meaning. It sounds to me like it's come from the heart, true feelings for someone?

Favorite line:

"The beauty of your eyes, the softness of your skin;
Admiring you is such pleasure, it must be a sin;"

However I think this didn't work:

My happiness, my hope, and freedom of all fears;
Always my love, not matter how far or near;

The speech doesn't flow for me on that line. However it's a great first poem. I look forward to reading more.

p.s. You also but "Not matter"

I had real trouble with that line.
This isn't my first btw, just my first in a long time. I used to do this a lot.

(10-19-2010, 05:36 PM)Jay Wrote: [ -> ]I had real trouble with that line.
This isn't my first btw, just my first in a long time. I used to do this a lot.

I can tell it's not your first. I really liked it. One of my favorite on SF.

You tell you love me,
and I know it's true

Favourite line. Did you enjoy writing this?

More will follow..................../

Thank you, sweetheart.

(10-20-2010, 05:46 PM)Eve Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you, sweetheart.

................................................................/

Thought, sought, ought, fought.

Good job. Its nice.