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[short version] Boy's life sucks, tries to kill himself but decides not to at last sec. Then meets girl. Girl shows him hope and gives him a reason to live. Boy truly and deeply falls in love with girl. Boy and girl connect and become very good friends. Both lives aren't the best but they help each other through it. Boy loves girl more then anything in the world but cant tell her that. Boy is afraid he will lose his chance and forever regret it but would not know what to do if girl rejects him. What should he do?

[VERY VERY long version]

About me: (17) I have had a very hard life, nothing but hate and misery was ever given to me. I have had 3 true friends throughout my entire life the others were just classmate or teammates. I am a Hispanic and almost everyday im called a spik and i have had dirty looks thrown at me and my dad all the time. I have felt hate almost everyday of my life. Im tall and fairly strong but im fat so people make fun of me about that.( it not that bad and i dont "act" fat E.I. slow runner lazy eats alot, and i am losing weight fast now so that might not be a problem in a few months) So after i lost me 2nd true friend(i say true because they are the only ones are actually care about me and that i can trust with anything) Now i have no good friends i'm hated everyday and i have zero self esteem. So one night i grabbed some pills for my headache but as i took some out i thought about finally killing myself (i used to think about it all the time) so i pull all the pills in my hand and just look at them. IDK how long it stood there just think about taking them all and going to sleep for the last time, after awhile i decided i wouldn't and it was only a week or so until i met her.


KATIE17) It was 2nd semester (10th) and i was taking art. It was an I.S. so i was with a bunch of freshman but there was one table in the back were Katie and her friend were sitting (she in 11th) so i sat with them and we soon became friends. We would joke around alot, the 3 of us. At this point we were not that close but we still had alot of fun. After school ended i went back into my depression and started eating my self to death, about the end of July i get a mass facebook msg saying she having the church thing or whatever and all her friends are invited (about 7-9) I replyed and then later that week i go to her house. It was me and one other friend of hers. We hung out went to the church thing had some fun i get home at 11ish and it was the most fun thing i did all summer. It become a weekly thing and im the only one that goes after the 2nd time, so we just hang out and have alot of fun together. We kept hanging out more and more and we connected and became really good friends.

Situation: It wasn't long before i fell in love with her and i devoted my entire life to her. She became my sole reason for living. She showed me love and kindness and gave me a reason to wake up everyday. I used to pray to God to give me a reason to live and now that i have one i loved it. I gave everything to her. Her dreams and hopes were mine and her happiness was my happiness. I would fight anyone who would try to hurt her and no one would say anything bad about her in front of me. I would do anything for her without her having to ask. She became my sun and my breath, my Goddess and queen. I would serve her without question. I lost some "friends" over her and even my religion (it condemned her so i stopped believing i still pray to God to protect her everyday but i dont follow that church anymore.) We both had a rough life, She was beaten by her father (only reason hes still alive because she asked me not to do anything) and their is a rumor that she was raped (i pray to God everyday that its not true but i wont talk to her about it since i cant stand thinking it really happened) We talk everyday and i worry about her all the time. I know i love her because i have never felt like this before, i have had alot of crushes and those kind of things and with those i thought i was in love but they are nothing compared to this, i have and still am changing my life completely just for this one girl.


The Problems: I just dont want to have sex with her i like her way too much for that. I know this because one time while her parents were out i came over to her house and i convinced her to have a drink with (some cheap vodka but it was ok) After a couple of shots i decided to put the bottle away before she got drunk (too late) i was a little tipsy but she was completely smashed (she is about 110lb im 260lb) We spent the next 20min sitting on the floor hugging and laughing we kept joking about me taking advantage of her (i seriously could have if i was that kind of guy) after i got her to bed(after some more cuddling, i was in heaven) i got her to sleep and i sneaked out the house just before her mom showed up and her parents never knew. Later that day after she sobered up she thanked me for not doing anything with her and making sure her parents didnt find out. I love her so much that i think im not worthy of her, she is too good for me. I stand looking into the mirror hating myself for not being good enough and even though i try everyday to get better i hate that im not good enough now. I have such low self esteem that i cant even hug her i feel that i dont deserve it but every time i do (4-5 times so far) im in complete bliss. i want to have enough confidence to hug her without feeling that she doesnt want to hug me, basically i want to feel that she wants to hug me or is at least comfortable with hugging me ( i know it stupid but its just how i feel).
She has a BF right now but shes only with him since if she gets kicked out of her house (i hate her parents so much) she has a place to stay (hes 19 or 20) so i know its nothing serious but the guys she dated are thin good looking guys and im nothing like them so what chance do i have? I want to tell her how i feel everyday but i just cant how do i do it? It would kill me if she thought of me in a bad way or avoided me because of how i feel so im scared to do it because of the result from it. What do i do? I want to spend the rest of my life with her but i dont have the courage to say it, can you help me?

(im sry for any grammar or spelling mistakes im not the best typer)

She obviously knows you are a nice guy now after that night so go with that angle, just don't force yourself on her and talk to her about these things, the low self esteem has to go, really why let others get you down man, do you really care enough about those losers to think less of yourself?

Tell her but still find the right time to tell her how you feel

You need to stop thinking about what happens *after* you tell her, ignore and block those thoughts best you can.. and just put yourself in to a situation you can't wimper out of, so say something like "there's something I want to tell you, and it's not easy for me, but imma do it anyway" so you pretty much have to tell her then.. then just take a deep breath and say it, make yourself say it, I assure you none of the things that you are probably worrying about happening, will happen..

Also telling her face to face is usually more desirable because girls find confidence sexy.

Your issue is your self confidence.
Clearly she likes you. CLEARLY!
So take it slow mate.
Tell her you like her but dont want to get "heavy" rather just grow closer slowly.
This is a good method of dealing with younger woman. To assume sexual contact is wrong.
You say you love her, then show her you do. Yes tell her you do.
Trust me mate. By saying these words you will feel free. Even if she says she dont feel the same way.

Now a bit more if i may.
Expect her to say no. Really expect it. Its ok to be a pessimist. It really is.
But seriously mate. Tell her your feelings with the provision you dont require her to reply in kind.
Explain to her its not sexual. Rather almost spiritual. As it appears to be.

I wish you luck mate. I hope you get the love you so desperately seek.
Just go slow mate. Woman dont like to be drowned in commitment.

(09-30-2010, 01:49 AM)DAMINK™ Wrote: [ -> ]Your issue is your self confidence.
Clearly she likes you. CLEARLY!
So take it slow mate.
Tell her you like her but dont want to get "heavy" rather just grow closer slowly.
This is a good method of dealing with younger woman. To assume sexual contact is wrong.
You say you love her, then show her you do. Yes tell her you do.
Trust me mate. By saying these words you will feel free. Even if she says she dont feel the same way.

Now a bit more if i may.
Expect her to say no. Really expect it. Its ok to be a pessimist. It really is.
But seriously mate. Tell her your feelings with the provision you dont require her to reply in kind.
Explain to her its not sexual. Rather almost spiritual. As it appears to be.

I wish you luck mate. I hope you get the love you so desperately seek.
Just go slow mate. Woman dont like to be drowned in commitment.

See told you so Tell her dude

how do i find the right time though (if i wait a year i can get more attractive but if i wait too long i might miss my chance) and do i wait till we have been hanging out for a while and have been talking alot or do i just come up to her and say it to start the conversation?

Probably after a while so you know she's not like in a really bad mood or anything. And don't wait a year <_< tell her soon, don't wait.

If you love someone, I've always thought the best thing to do was tell them. There's no point in holding back. If you don't tell them, you never know what they think. If you do tell them, you might get a big surprise. It could be bad or it could be the turning point pf your life. Just reach and and tell her.

I would tell her.
But only if you are ready for the consequences.
If she rejects you, you will be most likely heart broken.
But if she feels the same way, it would be beneficial to your problem.
I never thought about suicide, but I was unhappy for a while, until I met a girl, as did you.
I ended up telling her, she said no, I was heart broken.
I became mad instead of sad, it helped me more than it hurt me.
Of course then I had to deal with anger, but I like anger more than sadness since with anger you can feel like your doing something about your problem instead of self sorrow.