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Life changes
#1
Hello,

I'm new and never posted here... Just looking for some general emotional support and kind advice. I have family and friends to talk to, but some of what I'm dealing with now I just want to talk to someone I don't know. I'm dealing with some major life changes right now, some good and some bad/hard. I graduated with my Masters in December and started my first full time professional position a few weeks ago. Since graduating, I've moved home to Wisconsin with my parents to save money.  I was living in Washington for grad school and had gone to undergrad in Wisconsin a few hours away. Originally moving in with my parents was also the plan because my long term boyfriend of 5 years was going to move from Australia to live with us; while he looked for a job that would sponsor him, we would save money living with my mom and dad. My parents are two of my best friends and my partner has always gotten on with them quite well too.  We had been doing long distance with regular visits for a couple of years and before then had lived together or lived a couple hours apart. We split up about 2 months ago. It was mostly mutual, but I'm still devastated over the break up and loss. We had been serious for pretty much the entire relationship and my life was planned a thought out around him and our life together. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of what my life without him looks like.  The new job is going fairly well- it's difficult and challenging but I have some supportive coworkers and it's in a setting that I enjoy. Unfortunately, they've not been able to give me full time hours, so I'm barely going in half time right now. I feel like I tend t awake up in the week days kind of with a general sense of dread or sadness, but I think that's in part just stemming from not having a full routine/schedule of work hours and still easing in to the idea of a full time, professional job. 
I'm just having a hard time right now in general. A lot of days I feel sad, overwhelmed and anxious, with no real trigger. I am just feeling emotional in general. Saying goodbye to my dog in the morning or seeing last years Facebook post about my mom on mother's day are enough to make me tear up. I generally just want to stay home and/or be with my parents and my dog. I've thought that maybe I'm dealing with some minor depression, but then some days I feel pretty fine and ok. I don't have a ton of friends in the area, most of the friends I do have live about 30-45 minutes from me. Although my job is closer to where my friends are, I usually just want to come home at night and be with my parents and relax.  I feel like I am somewhat using my parents and home as my safety blanket right now. I've always been a goer, I studied abroad, lived in Australia for 6 months, and lived in Washington for two and a half years. I always missed my parents and felt homesick at times during these experiences, but I did them and enjoyed them. I think that was partly because I had made the decision and had no other choice but to follow through even when I was homesick. Now that I live at home, its easy to just spend time with them. I worry that I won't make friends or find  someone else to spend my life with if I don't get out and meet people my own age. But the idea of going to a meet up social group or some kind of singles event just makes my stomach churn. I enjoy doing things with people one on one or in small groups like hiking, yoga classes, going out for drinks/happy hour, watching movies, etc.  But it seems like most of the friends in my life, besides my own parents and some of our adult/family friends, are so busy with their own things going on and other friends that I have to really be the one to set things up and organize meeting up, which, when I'm feeling like I am, can be hard to motivate myself to do. 

Not really sure, what I'm looking for here, just some support and kindness I suppose. Just being able to write it all out as also been helpful. thank you Smile
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