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Emotional Abuse
#11
(02-11-2014, 07:58 PM)Clark Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:05 PM)FeaturedBmx Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 03:31 PM)Katsamess Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:10 AM)FeaturedBmx Wrote: I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

This exactly.

Your daughter is with a cheater, and the second she discovers what kind of man she's with, she'll think twice about continuing a relationship with him.

Cheaters get caught eventually, it's like living a life of crime.

They do eventually. I don't think for one minute he was trying to rape me, he is just sick in the head from some (supposed) child abuse and just wanted to frighten me, which he did. At this point I don't know what to believe from him. I know he is sick, but I know that the daughter won't believe me. Even though she has heard his infant speaking voice when he is really drunk. She just thinks it's cute, which I don't get. That would be an immediate turn off to most. I am sorry if he was abused, but he was also accused of killing his own sister by pushing her down stairs, and the other story is that he drowned her. I don't know what to believe. His life is sick and his parents are rich and demented so I don't know what to believe. I know this sounds like a damn nasty novel but these are the things that I have heard and lived with for over 20 years. Until he pulled this crap with me 6 years ago I thought his parents were the crazy ones. Now I know he is ill.
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#12
(02-11-2014, 07:58 PM)Clark Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:05 PM)FeaturedBmx Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 03:31 PM)Katsamess Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:10 AM)FeaturedBmx Wrote: I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

This exactly.

Your daughter is with a cheater, and the second she discovers what kind of man she's with, she'll think twice about continuing a relationship with him.

Cheaters get caught eventually, it's like living a life of crime.

This is my biggest hope. My Mothers memorial is in June and I will have to face them both. I don't know if I can even look at her or him at that time. His lies are so deep his own mother accused him of killing his own little sister by throwing her down a flight of stairs, when she was about 3 years old. He is messed up...and he drinks all the time. I don't even know how he runs such a successful business. Functioning alcoholic is all I can think of. I don't want to see my daughter alone just want him to admit and be fixed. I need fixing of my own after all this. It's been 5 or 6 years I have had to deal with it. I just want it over. I had a great childhood, loving parents especially my Dad who died in 1996. I am done crying about it, made a conscious effort to not fall into that pit again. I have to move on. It will be what it will be. Right now I have 1 child. Hopefully she will be back in my life sometime before I go.
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#13
(02-18-2014, 03:53 PM)Katsamess Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 07:58 PM)Clark Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:05 PM)FeaturedBmx Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 03:31 PM)Katsamess Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:10 AM)FeaturedBmx Wrote: I am sorry to hear this. I think that the 500$ would be worth it to help fix the relationship. You might want to try and sit her down and try and fix it that way though.

Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

This exactly.

Your daughter is with a cheater, and the second she discovers what kind of man she's with, she'll think twice about continuing a relationship with him.

Cheaters get caught eventually, it's like living a life of crime.

This is my biggest hope. My Mothers memorial is in June and I will have to face them both. I don't know if I can even look at her or him at that time. His lies are so deep his own mother accused him of killing his own little sister by throwing her down a flight of stairs, when she was about 3 years old. He is messed up...and he drinks all the time. I don't even know how he runs such a successful business. Functioning alcoholic is all I can think of. I don't want to see my daughter alone just want him to admit and be fixed. I need fixing of my own after all this. It's been 5 or 6 years I have had to deal with it. I just want it over. I had a great childhood, loving parents especially my Dad who died in 1996. I am done crying about it, made a conscious effort to not fall into that pit again. I have to move on. It will be what it will be. Right now I have 1 child. Hopefully she will be back in my life sometime before I go.

Eventually she will realise how much you have done for her and hopefully change her mind. Let me know what happens when you see her next. Also yes there are for sure functioning alcoholics, I have watched my dad function from alcohol for years and he makes nearly 80k a year.
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#14
(02-19-2014, 01:10 AM)FeaturedBmx Wrote:
(02-18-2014, 03:53 PM)Katsamess Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 07:58 PM)Clark Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 04:05 PM)FeaturedBmx Wrote:
(02-11-2014, 03:31 PM)Katsamess Wrote: Yea I am working on saving for the polygraph. It's going to take a long while to get we are kind of in financial crisis at the moment, but I will do it. I am not even sure she will trust that process as she is so brainwashed by him. He offered to pay for it even, and when I said lets do it, he said we just want you to be well, what a fricken cop out. I told him I said be careful what you wish for, your wife trusts you and you are going to prove what I am saying is the truth, and you could lose her. There is just no reason in the world that anyone could make stuff like this up. To what end, which is why I didn't tell anyone for a couple of years. Now I wish I had never put up with the screaming from her to tell her what happened. I have lost a daughter, Mom died 2 weeks ago and I am a mess. She didn't even call to tell me she was sorry her Gramma died. Thanks again for letting me spew...I have no where to go. The people who will listen are sick of hearing it. I kind of think I am dealing with a bit of PTSD.

Yeah no problem I don't mind listening. You kinda have to put yourself in your daughters shoes though. She loves him and it is hard to believe someone you love would do that. I was telling my sister I didn't like the guy she was with for several reasons and she still keep with him and didn't want to listen to me. She soon found out for her self that he was cheating on her. I think it would happen to the best of us though I could never believe someone I was in love with would do something so messed up until I witnessed it myself. If your daughters boyfriend is doing that kind of stuff still she will figure it out eventually.

This exactly.

Your daughter is with a cheater, and the second she discovers what kind of man she's with, she'll think twice about continuing a relationship with him.

Cheaters get caught eventually, it's like living a life of crime.

This is my biggest hope. My Mothers memorial is in June and I will have to face them both. I don't know if I can even look at her or him at that time. His lies are so deep his own mother accused him of killing his own little sister by throwing her down a flight of stairs, when she was about 3 years old. He is messed up...and he drinks all the time. I don't even know how he runs such a successful business. Functioning alcoholic is all I can think of. I don't want to see my daughter alone just want him to admit and be fixed. I need fixing of my own after all this. It's been 5 or 6 years I have had to deal with it. I just want it over. I had a great childhood, loving parents especially my Dad who died in 1996. I am done crying about it, made a conscious effort to not fall into that pit again. I have to move on. It will be what it will be. Right now I have 1 child. Hopefully she will be back in my life sometime before I go.

Eventually she will realise how much you have done for her and hopefully change her mind. Let me know what happens when you see her next. Also yes there are for sure functioning alcoholics, I have watched my dad function from alcohol for years and he makes nearly 80k a year.

Will do. Will have to see them both in June for my Moms memorial. Not looking forward to it at all. Am hoping its more of an open house and we can bypass one another. I appreciate your ear. Victoire
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