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Going Psychotic.
#1
Well I'm 14 years old and for the past years I have always shown a positive attitude for things, but lately the "evil" is overcoming me, and evil really inspires me, I love evil things. I find evil things funny. I laugh at cruel things. Lately I am having legitimate thoughts of killing people. A girl was making fun of me so I told her to kill herself and I would watch her and eat popcorn while she suffocated to death and I would then proceed to throw popcorn at her ugly face. I said that, laughed and I still think it is funny because I would actually do something like that. I hate myself for this reason, well I don't hate myself, but I am going freakin psychotic...I need help, but I don't know how to tell my parents because all they ever do is blame it on my computer or blame it on my games, which in reality I get these thoughts because I think that way. I don't play war games, I play puzzle games, logical games, none of this COD crap or BF3 stuff, I play relaxing games to struggle with my mind. I write poetry.

I am a happy person I will admit, but my happiness is just evil happy. I'm not a sad person, I am SADISTIC, but I think this is going to grow very fast into me actually killing someone, because I think the only thing keeping me from killing a person is my friends and my music.
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#2
I actually dealt with this for most of my teenage years.

I thought it would end me, honestly, until someone showed me a different way of looking at myself. The fact that you have a conscience means that eventually you'll get better, but this didn't happen for me until I was twenty-two years old. And even then it took a full two years beyond that point for it to sink in that I wasn't evil.

If you rely heavily on logic, that's most likely your problem. Logically, the whole world should be destroyed.
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#3
That might be a true factor right there, become stupid??? Nah, I'm smart & happy with a heart for everything. Sure, I have these thoughts like this guy is blah & I wish blah but I move forward. Train yourself not to laugh at it, look down upon it & look at good.

Are you religious at all??? if you are get into your religion more, doing more of talking to your GOD. Christianity is what I recommend with it.
A developer, thinker & bliss guy that tries his hardest to enjoy life ~~~
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#4
fudge everything with Christianity. I hate Christianity it is so obsolete and in fact I don't believe in a God. I only believe in Angels and Demons, they help me and have proved their existence to me. My intelligence I care much about. I am certainly happy it is just I have strong thoughts and wants to kill people, I don't do it but I still have thoughts and no care if I do it.
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#5
Honestly i'd consider counseling. If you're having these sadistic thoughts of killing people, how do you know that all of a sudden with a rush of rage your thoughts become a reality.
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#6
i'm not an expert, but i do know that a real psychopath has no conscience and sadist murderers often start off when they're young by killing animals. You are not any of that then, are you. When i was a teen i was an intellectual and my hobby at school (the thing that got me through it) was, inventing as many cruel methods to kill my teachers as possible, and i made meticulous drawings of all of them.
(i'm still known for it.). i never went psychotic or anything though.
Seek help if you feel you should. But it may be that things just settle down overtime.
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#7
Look for some help and do stuff that makes you happy in life (that won't harm other people)
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