Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Gablrielum
#1
I wrote this for my Latin essay. The topic: A ancient fictional mythical hero. Thought I would share, what do you guys think. Also please point out any grammatical spelling errors.

Quote:On the summer solstice, the clouds darkened. The sky was light up a green light color, the turbulent winds whipped in and out of houses. As the windows howled it was suddenly pieced, by the sound of life. As a mother lied on the floor by herself in her small room on her marbled floor. Her screams of desperation echoed off the walls. Soon enough the sweat was rolling down her face, and as she reached out for her husband’s arm, she grasped the air, where she thought he should be. The emptiness began to fill her. She kept pushing though, and through her screams a new life was born. His cry seemed to pierce the turbulent sky above him. The world she was exposed to was inundated with the screams of her son. As she finally felt the revelation of the pain stopping, she quickly tried to assuage her baby. She picked him up, with the sudden shock of how heavy he was. His breath he drew into his strong body could be equaled to that of the storm. As his eyes finally opened his mother looked down into them. They were bright circles of green, surrounded with a pure and relentless white, and a strong determinate of back in the middle. The contrast of his eyes could be equaled to that of a lightning strike piercing a black sky. She spoke only but one word then, his name; Gabrielum. She dropped one tear, for the fear that he would never know his father.
In the years to come, her son developed greatly. His bodily image could only be compared to that of a god. His strong shoulders could carry twice his weight if needed. His hands were coursed with veins. They looked as if they had worked for a hundred years. By the time he has reached the age of 10, his mother was beginning to feel the effects of age and her son often was forced to take care of here, which he treated almost as a privilege. The only time he wanted to leave his mother’s side was to go out into the storms of summer and to go to the local forgeries.
On one special night Gabrielum’s mother, was feeling extraordinarily well, almost as if a calling. She whispered to him, “Gabe, why don’t you take a day off and go to the forgery”, she was met with “Thanks mother, I have been yearnin….Wait, I must take care of you, you are my family and it is my commitment”. His mother smiled and said with a flick of her hands, “My wish is for you to go and have some fun, I feel fine today”. With some hesitation he slowly left the room, waiting for any sign from his mother of pain or sadness. As he left the room he began to run. As he approached the door of the forgery he could almost smell the melting iron, but he felt as if something was watching him, he quickly looked around, but then dashed inside. Gensurus was quick to greet his young companion. He and Gabrielum had made beautiful weapons before; the intricacy could be seen from a distance. Soon enough he was standing above the melting iron. As it churned he began to think, of his mother, and how she was alone. Then like a fire a new idea sparked into his mind, who was his father. He began to look into the iron and ponder. Then he heard a sound. He thought it was only the metal, but then he heard the specific words, “You are not alone”. He was shocked and quickly turned around. His bright eyes were contrasted be the red hot smoldering metal behind him. Nothing was said again for a while. Then a sudden crash of the door rang across the forgery. A soldier stood there, bearing a scroll.
Then the soldier proclaimed to Gensurus that a war is now being ensued, and that his services are required. Gensurus looked and Gabrielum and knew he needed to do this, but he needed help. Gabe instantly knew the look and what he must do. He ran home to his mother. As he explained what had happened, including the voice he had heard. His mother smiled, and said “I am never alone, your father is always watching for us”. He he said “I have never seen my father nor heard him!”, she replied, “but you have”. Gabe eyes were burning with desire. He said “Then who is my father”? She looked, then smiled and said, “Your father is Volcanus, this is why you have such amazing forgery skills and can withstand burns with ease. Then his eyes began to well with tears, he said “If my father is Volcanus, then why is he letting this war happen”? She replied “Son, in order for there to be life, then we need change. In order for change we need to have a controversial idea, with that in mind me must settle it.” He quickly ran out. The sky was beginning to become clouded with the greys of summer storms. He quickly ran back to Gensurus, and before he could say anything Gabrielum said “I must forge my own weapon, then I must do what my father cannot. I must make a stake for my ideas”. Before Gensurus even had a chance to think, Gabe was already starting to heat the iron in which he would caste. The heat flooded his eyes, and grew stronger. Just as did his hate. Then he heard the words of his father “Gabrielum, listen to…..” but he was quickly cut off by Gabrielum “This is your fault. Ideas need to be controversial, but death is not the answer.” Then Volcanus said “Then why are you preparing for war? Where do you get off telling me, Volcanus, where my faults are”? Gabrielum responded “Life, it is an idea, greater than humans, beasts, or even the divine gods. If life is lost, then ideas are lost, which stops the change of humanity, as ideas are bound by to each other, without a contractual idea there is no idea”. Volcanus angered by his son’s words said “Then why are you going to kill people and risk your own idea”?
Gabrielum replied “My death will embody my life and my idea, in order for my idea to have meaning or controversy, I must die”. With this he pulled his new crafted sword out of the inferno. He quickly ran off into the woods. Soon enough he was at the land of where a battle was about to commence. He ran out onto the field. As the sky roared so did his heart. His eyes greater than the sun that passed through the clouds. The enemy quickly loaded there arrows as he began to charge. As they arrows pelted him, he kept going. His father’s voice rang in his ears, but he denied to hear them. He kept running, soon enough he was close enough to the king, he buried his sword into the floor. Stammered over to the king and whispered “Death is just the rebirth of a life, remember these words”.
Reply
#2
This was poorly written. It's a good thing you're cute.
Reply
#3
(07-12-2014, 02:42 PM)Clark Wrote: This was poorly written. It's a good thing you're cute.

Hey Clark. It's a good thing you're cute.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)