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My first poem
#1
Hey friends i had recently make a poem which i want to share with you.This is specially for my betrayed love.so guys it's my 1st try.I'm not good at writing but just want to convey my message through poetry.
In the night of sorrow,
in the depth of my heart,
I feel the aloneness,
to hide my sorrow i uses to weep,
now a days love is like a toy,
some one play with you.
and leave you alone.
dedicated to my betrayed love.
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#2
Nicely written mate Smile
A few grammatical mistakes, but they can be easily corrected Smile
Is English your native language?
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#3
No mate,i'm not a native english speaker.But i'm biggest fond of english poetry that's why i tried to make a poem.Actually these are my heart saying words.btw thanks for appreciation.
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#4
(05-24-2011, 05:09 AM)G0dfath3r Wrote: No mate,i'm not a native english speaker.But i'm biggest fond of english poetry that's why i tried to make a poem.Actually these are my heart saying words.btw thanks for appreciation.

Most welcome Smile
When you post in the Creative Writing section, be sure that you'll receive a comment from me if its good.
I love your enthusiasm for English poetry, but here's a small tip. Just read through the poem a few times after you're finished writing and pick out on anything that seems a little odd or out of place. Those are usually the signs of a grammatical error in any kind of poem.
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#5
For your first poem, you've done a good job!
if ( ( youAreHappy) && (youKnowIt) )

clapYourHands();
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#6
Very well adviced haroon (blackchaos) bro.
OP follow his advices i am sure after some time you'll be able to write better poems. Oh btw work hard on your english, you've potential just work hard.
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#7
Nice poem!
I have 2 poems published in a book! I will post them in a new thread later tonight!
[Image: impulses.png]
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