01-31-2017, 08:25 AM
Hello.
I want you to know i am not a professional in any way and what i say is just my opinions and personal experiences. I’ve had times in the past where i’ve experienced something similar. Where even if you feel secure and confident in your partner, you are afraid it might end. What it did to me was making me confused a lot of the time and it damaged my self confidence. I felt myself become unhappy when my partner wasn’t around and i think she sensed it and it brought her a great deal of distress and after a while she decided to end it, because she couldn’t handle, that i always seemed happy with her, and unhappy without her.
I want you to know that today I am doing fine, we’re friends and I have dealt with my issues.
But If i have to say what i could have done to maintain the relationship back then it was probably to let her see my unhappiness and insecurities.
It sounds as if the two of you have a very strong relationship, that has been going for some time. And I would imagine that it is strong enough that your issues should also be your partners. I would, in your position, open up and try to explain my feelings and respect her opinions.
If she needs to have her own friends i would think that is respectable, as you are two independent beings, and you should be able to respect your differences as well as similarities.
Now you write “ they are reaaaally close to each other” And i do not know what you but such strong emphasis on really. Whether it means they are BFF’s or familly or you are afraid of being cheated on.
You go on to say “she doesn't have any "inappropriate" behavior” Which i am again not sure what means. whether it means you are certain of your partner's faithfulness or that she doesn’t smoke or drink. Either way if you suspect her of cheating try when you feel “calm” to think hard about your feelings on that matter, it is not something you should confront a partner with unless you have a substantial idea about it.
Now i don’t know if you are suffering from low-self esteem or another related problem. But don’t be too hung up on a FB message, she probably just very happy at that moment, and she should be allowed to be happy even when you are not around, as you should be happy even when she is not around, even if you do miss each other.
It does suck to feel scared and insecure, but I believe that the way to deal with them is not to shun it, accept your insecurities and work on them. Talk with a good friend, use forums (as this one) think about your emotions, writing your thought on a blank piece of paper and then reading it can be surprisingly helpful way to deal with your own thoughts. Life isn’t always sun and joy sometimes we have bad days or bad times and they are equally as real a part of you as the rest, respect it try and figure out why it’s there and how to deal with it. If it persists you might need the help of a trained professional
Now i don’t know if anything i said is helpful or useful, but i hope it was. If nothing else know I will send you my good thoughts. And congratulations on moving in with the person you love
I want you to know i am not a professional in any way and what i say is just my opinions and personal experiences. I’ve had times in the past where i’ve experienced something similar. Where even if you feel secure and confident in your partner, you are afraid it might end. What it did to me was making me confused a lot of the time and it damaged my self confidence. I felt myself become unhappy when my partner wasn’t around and i think she sensed it and it brought her a great deal of distress and after a while she decided to end it, because she couldn’t handle, that i always seemed happy with her, and unhappy without her.
I want you to know that today I am doing fine, we’re friends and I have dealt with my issues.
But If i have to say what i could have done to maintain the relationship back then it was probably to let her see my unhappiness and insecurities.
It sounds as if the two of you have a very strong relationship, that has been going for some time. And I would imagine that it is strong enough that your issues should also be your partners. I would, in your position, open up and try to explain my feelings and respect her opinions.
If she needs to have her own friends i would think that is respectable, as you are two independent beings, and you should be able to respect your differences as well as similarities.
Now you write “ they are reaaaally close to each other” And i do not know what you but such strong emphasis on really. Whether it means they are BFF’s or familly or you are afraid of being cheated on.
You go on to say “she doesn't have any "inappropriate" behavior” Which i am again not sure what means. whether it means you are certain of your partner's faithfulness or that she doesn’t smoke or drink. Either way if you suspect her of cheating try when you feel “calm” to think hard about your feelings on that matter, it is not something you should confront a partner with unless you have a substantial idea about it.
Now i don’t know if you are suffering from low-self esteem or another related problem. But don’t be too hung up on a FB message, she probably just very happy at that moment, and she should be allowed to be happy even when you are not around, as you should be happy even when she is not around, even if you do miss each other.
It does suck to feel scared and insecure, but I believe that the way to deal with them is not to shun it, accept your insecurities and work on them. Talk with a good friend, use forums (as this one) think about your emotions, writing your thought on a blank piece of paper and then reading it can be surprisingly helpful way to deal with your own thoughts. Life isn’t always sun and joy sometimes we have bad days or bad times and they are equally as real a part of you as the rest, respect it try and figure out why it’s there and how to deal with it. If it persists you might need the help of a trained professional
Now i don’t know if anything i said is helpful or useful, but i hope it was. If nothing else know I will send you my good thoughts. And congratulations on moving in with the person you love