12-18-2013, 11:53 AM
I've been working through a really hard time right now. It started when I thought I was being annoying, and quickly escalated to me thinking my best friend hated me. I went silent and awkward, but by the time I said anything it was too late, and I was too deep. It's been over a year now, but with my best friend's help I'm finally coming round. I'm much less awkward in one on one situations, but groups more than that are still an issue.
You see, because of what happened, I lost who I was, and in that, my confidence and character. In group situations, I usually end up the third wheel. It's getting to the point where I'm just tagging along in silence, choking back tears, watching my friends laughing and joking, and I desperately want to say something. Thing is, my best friend's helped me with this so much, and she does really care, she's probably not meaning to do this, but I have to say something. Not letting my feelings out was what started all this, and I swore I would never keep them in again. What do I do? I don't want to make her feel bad! Is there anyway I can ask if she prefers the company of the others, or tell her that I feel left out without making her feel bad? It's mostly my fault for being awkward and anxiety ridden, but if I don't let this out, it will just slowly crush me!
You see, because of what happened, I lost who I was, and in that, my confidence and character. In group situations, I usually end up the third wheel. It's getting to the point where I'm just tagging along in silence, choking back tears, watching my friends laughing and joking, and I desperately want to say something. Thing is, my best friend's helped me with this so much, and she does really care, she's probably not meaning to do this, but I have to say something. Not letting my feelings out was what started all this, and I swore I would never keep them in again. What do I do? I don't want to make her feel bad! Is there anyway I can ask if she prefers the company of the others, or tell her that I feel left out without making her feel bad? It's mostly my fault for being awkward and anxiety ridden, but if I don't let this out, it will just slowly crush me!