01-03-2012, 06:42 PM
Ive just turned 16 and ive recently just became, i wouldnt say depressed, but just fed up. I find it hard to get close to people, which is strange because i used to have loads of friends and was quite outgoing, but now ive got about 5 fiends that i regulary talk to, but there is only one i feel any real friendship with. My grades have also slipped dramatically, and i always fake illness to stay off. When i first started high school, i was rather fat and so had little confidence, then when i lost my wieght i got a facefull of spots, so yeah puberty is a cold harted bitch. But somehow back then i was even more outgoing than i am now, even though my spots have gotten better and i feel rather okay with myself on the outside. The only thing that has changed for the better is that i find it easier to talk to girls than before. Back then i was a mumbling idiot when it came to girls, but now i can at least hold a conversation. Ive never had a proper girlfriend, there was this one girl last summer that i really liked, and she was definitely flirting with me (she even admitted that to me) so i told her that i liked her, and we ended up talking u until 2 in the morning on the phone. Then i was suppossed to meet her the next day, and i would have loved to but i couldnt, i had other things planned, then the next day she gave me the old "Lets just be friends" story, just out of the blue. I took it quite hard to be honest but i never showed it, i just kept my distance from everyone, it was the only time to this date i ever felt i liked someone trully, and ever since ive been like that. I know i shoulld just move on, but there is no one else in the school that i like, and i dont just mean on a shallow looks based reason, its just i cant really get close to anyone else and i never socialise outside of school, that just seems out of the question now. Im not a total social outcast or anything i can still have a laugh with people. I hardly ever go out with the few friends i have, id rather stay and play my guitar or listen to music (The beatles are about the only thing that brings me happiness right now
), which i find is more relaxing than the nuisance of putting on a brave face. Ive had quite a few family issues as well that i wont go into detail with, and they all happened aound summer as well. I just dont know what to do, i never feel motivated, i want to get better but i dont know how, ive got 2 more years left of school and i dont want to leave feeling like this.
), which i find is more relaxing than the nuisance of putting on a brave face. Ive had quite a few family issues as well that i wont go into detail with, and they all happened aound summer as well. I just dont know what to do, i never feel motivated, i want to get better but i dont know how, ive got 2 more years left of school and i dont want to leave feeling like this.