03-25-2012, 06:23 PM
I can never get a break, can I? Every single freakin thing that could ever potentially work in my life seems to get nerfed one way or another. No matter how much effort or dedication I put into something, it ultimately fails. I can (and have) spent hundreds of hours on a project only to have it blown up or shut down in my freakin face.
Every single goddamn time in every single part of my goddamn life. Started when I first moved schools in 8th grade from the northern east coast to the south. I hated all the rednecks, I hated the bullshit, I wanted to leave. 2 and a half years later, (Sophomore year of high school) RIGHT as I started making really good lifelong friends, I freakin move again. Now I'm spending my junior year in a school of people I freakin hate, doing schoolwork that's monumentally more difficult than that which was previously given to me, and being expected to conform to a society which I wish would stop freakin existing. I just spent my entire goddamn weekend (putting off a huge ass chemistry project, btw) trying to set up a private business/entrepreneurial venture only to have everything I've worked towards so far (and the almost $100 I've shelled out from my savings) but on an indefinite hold because of the smallest freakin problems, problems I HAD NO TROUBLE WITH the last time I attempted something similar.
Why can't life give me a goddamn break, seriously. I'm tired of it, I don't give two shits anymore. I couldn't give a damn whether or not that chemistry project is finished for tomorrow, I couldn't give a damn whether or not I maintain my 3.8-3.9 GPA, the school system is a giant capitalistic tyrannical scam in the first place, even at the college level.
I can't do this, I can't have everything I ever work towards taken away from me. Even the minor things, the solutions to my problems that I invent become even more problems.
Every single goddamn time in every single part of my goddamn life. Started when I first moved schools in 8th grade from the northern east coast to the south. I hated all the rednecks, I hated the bullshit, I wanted to leave. 2 and a half years later, (Sophomore year of high school) RIGHT as I started making really good lifelong friends, I freakin move again. Now I'm spending my junior year in a school of people I freakin hate, doing schoolwork that's monumentally more difficult than that which was previously given to me, and being expected to conform to a society which I wish would stop freakin existing. I just spent my entire goddamn weekend (putting off a huge ass chemistry project, btw) trying to set up a private business/entrepreneurial venture only to have everything I've worked towards so far (and the almost $100 I've shelled out from my savings) but on an indefinite hold because of the smallest freakin problems, problems I HAD NO TROUBLE WITH the last time I attempted something similar.
Why can't life give me a goddamn break, seriously. I'm tired of it, I don't give two shits anymore. I couldn't give a damn whether or not that chemistry project is finished for tomorrow, I couldn't give a damn whether or not I maintain my 3.8-3.9 GPA, the school system is a giant capitalistic tyrannical scam in the first place, even at the college level.
I can't do this, I can't have everything I ever work towards taken away from me. Even the minor things, the solutions to my problems that I invent become even more problems.