Is this a problem

[Mao]

I always got beaten, everyday in my childhood. So the pain became addictive.

This may be more of a sign of a lack of confrontation. When you were a child, did you like being hurt? Or did that just come in the later years? This "addiction" just might be a reaction of you trying to convince yourself that the beating is not over yet because you haven't settled it with whoever beats you up back then. Maybe you should go and confront that person. Please take care of yourself, and I hope this can help you out.