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Well my future has suddenly taken a turn for the best but also for the worst.

I am hopefully soon going to attend a college for basic training for the army and then hopefully will pass the medical, mental and physical to make it to the next stages of my training.

The point of this is that I have never wanted to do anything else accept be a soldier in the army. My mother obviously is worried about it and so is my father. However my mother accepts that she needs to let me do what I want with my own life and that I can live my life doing what others want you to do e.g. College and University.

My father however forbids me from going in the army (I haven't told him that I am going to go through with it yet) and he just keeps saying that no son of his is coming back dead in a coffin. He wants me and is almost forcing me to go to College and then University.

But because I don't need parents consent to join he can't stop me. It's just that if I join he will most likely stop talking to me for months and I wont be allowed to visit him and my brothers and sisters.

I need some advice on a good way to go about telling him that this is what I am going to do with my life and no argument he puts forward will stop me because I am too passionate with joining the army.

Any help?

Parents can be sometimes annoying, but they were once your age and could have experienced it and if they didn't like it maybe they don't want you to do the same.

Firstly, that's a crappy situation to be in .

You are really left with little options on what to do.

If you are 100% sure about the army, then you should do it.

Your dad is just worried about you, and doing what dads do best. He will come around, and if he has no control over you joining you should not feel threatened by him.

You may want a private word with him and discuss why you want to join, and that nothing he can do will stop you.

You may also want to add that you cannot control him, nor change his mind, and that if he wants to feel that way about you, you will just have to accept it.

Remember it is your life, not his. No matter how much he wants it to be.

I know he can't stop me but I don't like to upset my family. I like to please people when I can and I would just really like to minimize the reaction when I tell him

Thanks for all your comments.

There is no good way to tell him, and I'm sorry for that. But if you act like an adult through this he may be more inclined to be proud of you rather than seeing you as a lost-cause (which you really aren't).

I've always wanted to grow up and be a soldier but idk what I'm going to do yet. If you're 100% sure then go through with it. Just tell him that you appreciate his concern/advice but it's time for you to start making bigger decisions for yourself and it's what you really want to do.

I don't know why he wouldn't be proud of me? I think it's a good achievement to join the army.

It is a good achievement. I'm sure he'll be proud of you for whatever you accomplish, he's just afraid that he'll lose his son. You can't blame him.

I know, but if my mother can see why can't my father. Reversed roles much?

Because no doubt he thinks he can make you not join, rather than let you go.