Well, to start off, I am more then ecstatic to be a part of this magnificent forum. I thoroughly enjoy assisting folks with their emotional needs and issues. I can say that I can fully appreciate every person on this forum. But now I call to question my emotional stability.
Last night at 2000, my girlfriend was almost robbed at her own house; fortunately she called her close grandfather to pick her up before hand. Well, as it happens, the only time we "really" get to see each other is on Saturdays from 1800-2300. But tonight she was acting strangely and seemed to not want to get involved with any physical affection; she was zoning in and out, along with a common stomach problem and severe itching of the arms. It didn't start off that way of course but she seemed, as the night progressed, to be more and more willing to say "back off". Plus she would not even pay attention to me while she was on my computer. So I thought, you know; maybe she is just not feeling well. Then we played a simple card game and I asked her to be careful with the cards because they were high quality playing cards, and she got upset over that. And all the while my logic is being replaced by deep depression and sickness. Then she has the nerve to ask me what my problem was. So, I am sick with depression and want to go burn out 5 roaches with a bottle of tequila; then go to sleep and die. I pour out my heart to this lady because I knew she needed the love I had for her, but I find it harder and harder to succumb to the fact that I will one day lose her. And I lay awake at nights weeping and pleading to anyone or anything to please stop the torment and suffering, but all I get is the quiet peace of the Lord; and when I wake up, it all comes back to me. I'd rather lay in hell burning with the skin falling off my body then to experience the pain that will come that horrific day. Bottom line is; I love her with ALL my heart. And 'tis a great tragedy that men must suffer the beauty of such love; but with all my heart I find peace in this, only to watch my heart burn away like a fire in the northern realms. To those who read this with pity; do not pity lest you fall hard the both of us. Thank you guys for your support; truly a Support Forum and with no other source would I confide such matters.
Jesus Christ man, this is a true piece of art. If I were you, I would show her this post, and I'm not even doubting it. I'm no expert, but damn, that was beautiful.
You say she was robbed (almost), did you talk with her about that, or did she talked to someone?
Sometimes the fear can break you down not only for the moment but for the next days/weeks/months...
Maybe she just needs you to listen and don't talk, try to make her happy, as I guess she is still in the moment of the last night.
(12-12-2009, 09:33 PM)Master of The Universe Wrote: [ -> ]You say she was robbed (almost), did you talk with her about that, or did she talked to someone?
Sometimes the fear can break you down not only for the moment but for the next days/weeks/months...
Maybe she just needs you to listen and don't talk, try to make her happy, as I guess she is still in the moment of the last night.
Aye, but she was happy before then. She was talking and cheerful. But the actual problem does not lie in the incident described, it is the direction of the relationship that is making me feel so damn depressed. I don't know how it is for others, I can only speak for myself, but when you give your ALL your heart, there is a deeper level of emotion then just the normal "let's-hang-out" relationships. Here is a poem I had written back in the freshman year of high school:
"
As I think about love and all that accompanies it,
I feel as though I Know not of Love.
I feel like Love is defined by the undefined passion that surpasses the understanding of a person.
I feel Love is bound by the boundless ends of a man's heart.
Sometimes I feel as if its too much.
The kind of love that rejoices for tomorrow in the mind of today;
Captivating the very simplicity of knowing that you would do anything for that person.
And that is the point of Love that there is no turning back.
The kind of love that never dies;
Immortal love.
The love you feel with every beat of your heart.
The profound and perpetual reminder that...
I loved.
The tragedy of that beautiful passion,
Is the Love that is not loved.
The kind of love that never Dies,
The kind of love that knows he will never be loved with the same love.
O how sweet is the grief that accompanies this Love.
The bitter streams that yearn for Love have no condolence,
No pity.
"O God!"
"O how, O how will you let this tragedy overtake me!"
But all I hear through the tears is the sweet and gentle,
"I won't." "
That's an awsome poem!!!
Well I know how the feeling you're talking about, and if it's the direction that makes the problems, I've failed at that point!
Now let us look at this story from your GF view.
While reading your Posts, I CAN FEEL the love, so I guess she feel it too.
That amount of love can also scare people and they take distance as they fear not being able to give/show you the same love.
That is the point were they start thinking where everything it's heading to, and mostly in this state of emotion they see only the bad things.
The time you two are having only for you is not enough, as I understand it you have only 5 Hours per week.
Is there any way to spend more time with her, or take her somewhere where she and you can calm down and clear your heads?
Edit:
May I ask if you're under 20 or over?
(12-12-2009, 10:07 PM)Master of The Universe Wrote: [ -> ]That's an awsome poem!!!
Well I know how the feeling you're talking about, and if it's the direction that makes the problems, I've failed at that point!
Now let us look at this story from your GF view.
While reading your Posts, I CAN FEEL the love, so I guess she feel it too.
That amount of love can also scare people and they take distance as they fear not being able to give/show you the same love.
That is the point were they start thinking where everything it's heading to, and mostly in this state of emotion they see only the bad things.
The time you two are having only for you is not enough, as I understand it you have only 5 Hours per week.
Is there any way to spend more time with her, or take her somewhere where she and you can calm down and clear your heads?
If only you knew how hard I would try to do it. But, I can scrounge is the 5 hours of "our" time. I see her off and on during the week, but always in a rush. I might be able to have lunch with her during the weekdays but; it's still not enough. I know I am a terrible mate but I try so damn hard, and it frustrates me to the point of insanity!
Edit: I am 25 and have a hardcore job. I have an sum of people who depend on me.
Ok it's good to hear that you're 25, But that makes me feel like I'm the wrong one to help you out with this.
So first to say, I never had such a relationship where both were so time consumed to not having time for each other.
Start with the lunch during the week and try to talk with her about your future, but not forcing her.
Now really, I'm sorry as I said I feel like I'm not the right person.... And didn't slept a long time so I can't think right (crap)
Let me take a rest and I'll post then.
(12-12-2009, 10:23 PM)Master of The Universe Wrote: [ -> ]Ok it's good to hear that you're 25, But that makes me feel like I'm the wrong one to help you out with this.
So first to say, I never had such a relationship where both were so time consumed to not having time for each other.
Start with the lunch during the week and try to talk with her about your future, but not forcing her.
Now really, I'm sorry as I said I feel like I'm not the right person.... And didn't slept a long time so I can't think right (crap)
Let me take a rest and I'll post then.
Dude, I don't need you to say something that you think is right because it's right; say what you mean from what you feel in your heart ; )
Well I think, that she is mad you were not there when she was almost robbed.
That's all I really have to say.
(12-12-2009, 10:57 PM)Аноним Интерфейс Wrote: [ -> ]Dude, I don't need you to say something that you think is right because it's right; say what you mean from what you feel in your heart ; )
What I've meant is, I couldn't say what I wanted and how I wanted.
WMM has a point, but it's not a must that shes mad at you!
I still think that the incident just put some thoughts in her and she questions some things now, you may be one of these things.
May I ask how old she is, and how long your relationship is going on?
Also don't get drunk or something it can happen that you make a big mistake and break up with her....