Hello everyone;
I'm having quite a time attempting to break several habits of mine, some I'd rather like to keep personal. But I'm trying to break:
-Go home, go on the PC attitude.
-Not getting anything done.
-Completing homework the following morning it was assigned.
etc.
Do you have any recommendations?
--
Also, how would I limit myself to get on the computer? I have many assigned jobs, (staffing HF, running a game, and modding several other forums).. I'd like to get an outside life, more than what I have.
--
Finally, I have a great deal of female friends, but none believe I'm GF material. How do I prove that I, indeed, am?
All serious replies are welcome.
I can't really help with the computer thing, but i'm not bad with girls. So, is what you need to do is do subtle flirty things. Don't just come out and say i love you, work at it for a week or so. Text them in the morning say good morning. Just do little things that hint you like them. Your in the friend zone, not a good place lol
(12-07-2009, 06:21 PM)ktmrider530 Wrote: [ -> ]I can't really help with the computer thing, but i'm not bad with girls. So, is what you need to do is do subtle flirty things. Don't just come out and say i love you, work at it for a week or so. Text them in the morning say good morning. Just do little things that hint you like them. Your in the friend zone, not a good place lol
Unfortunately, I'm every girls "come talk to guy", though I don't know how to use that to my advantage in the dating arena.
(12-07-2009, 06:49 PM)Lord_Scorch Wrote: [ -> ]Unfortunately, I'm every girls "come talk to guy", though I don't know how to use that to my advantage in the dating arena.
Well, in my experience being a dick usually helps. You have to do something to get out of that position. Not a huge dick, just tell them that you don't really want to hear about it. Don't ba a dick 24/7 but at least once while you are with them.
(12-07-2009, 06:49 PM)Lord_Scorch Wrote: [ -> ]Unfortunately, I'm every girls "come talk to guy", though I don't know how to use that to my advantage in the dating arena.
Play it right and you'll get sympathy roots
When they come to cry on your shoulder just be really nice and see what happens. But thats taking advantage of a poor little girl :no:
Being a dick helps, but more of a smartass. Give them crap for stupid things they do. but
always make sure you have a cheeky smile on your face, and know where the line is, or it can go down wrong.
I don't really agree with the "be a dick" thing, unless you like one of the girls that treat you that way. But, I'm gay, so what do I know? For the PC thing, all I can really think of is just develop some willpower. Think, "Okay, I need to do X and X won't get done if I'm randomly browsing the net." I'd suggest setting distinct times, such as "I will moderate HF and browse the 'net for X hours, and at the end of that time, I will go do homework."
But, honestly, you won't be able to just force yourself out of your habits. If you don't want to change your habits, then they won't change. Think; is your desire to change based on being ostracized for your habits, or what? I know people associate spending copious amounts of time on the 'net with antisocialism, but I don't agree with that. There's much to be learnt on the Internet about any subject in the world. You can learn about languages, cars, web design, programming languages, relationships, psychology, gardening, ect just to name a few things; all for free.
You can also make friends online, which are distinctly different from irl friends. More often than not, online friends are great for having casual conversation, making jokes, and advice, without the drama. That's just my experience, though; I'm sure some fights can occur, but I've never experienced such things with online friends.
I think you should do that which you have to get done before you get on the computer. It's more likely to get done that way, in my opinion.
As for the girl situation, some tips I can give you, from a male-liking perspective:
-Dress well. Don't conform to a certain style because you think such styles are associated with getting the girls. Dress in a way that reflects your personality and thoughts, and that complement your attitude. Clothes look good on people who wear them well. There's no universal 'good looking' outfit or what have you. If you're not a jock, don't try to dress like one. If you're not emo, then don't try to dress like one. You can understand where I'm coming from.
-Talk to your friend(s) about your desire to have emotional companionship. I don't mean for you to talk to them in a way that would suggest you desire THEIR companionship, but just in general. They should definitely be able to assist you with your appearance and overall attitude. I mean, if you have a "woe is me" attitude, you can't really expect to get a decent girl, can you? At best, you'll be stuck with some "woe is me" girl, and then y'all both will be miserable.
-Too many compliments is really annoying. It looks so desperate when you first meet a guy and he's all, "Your eyes are so beautiful." or "Your personality is unlike anyone else's I've ever known". It's pretty creepy. Save all that for when y'all're serious. In the beginning, stick with things like, "You look nice today." or whatever comes to you.
-An instance where I'd advocate being a dick is when she's clearly fishing for compliments. There're two reasons why I find this behavior unhealthy. First off, she's clearly insecure about herself if she talks down on herself in an attempt to have other people say nice things about her. Secondly, 99% of the time, it's a sign of a manipulative attitude. You do NOT want to get involved with someone like that. There're two ways you can react to fishing for compliments; A) Agree with her. For example, if she says "Sigh, I'm so fat." say something like, "Well, maybe you should eat less." or "I agree." Be a huge butthead to her. If she is like "You're a dick", say, "Well, you said it yourself." Or B) Call her out on it directly. Say something like, "Why are you fishing for compliments?" She'll probably be taken aback by your forwardness, but it's the best way to go about such things, I've found.
-Practice confidence. Notice that there's a difference between low self-esteem and shyness. A shy guy can be a confident guy, but a guy with low self-esteem can't be confident. People in general enjoy being with a confident person. Just don't be a douchebag. Another thing, alongside confidence, that goes a long way, is modesty. I might just be speaking for myself when I say this, but no one likes a guy that is like "I'm so much buffer than that guy is" or "I'm such a badass." If the girl thinks that, then she'll tell you. You should be sure not to be so modest that it looks like YOU are fishing for compliments, though.
Sorry if that seems really tailored; it's just my preferences and suggestions. Pick and choose however you want, but as a gay guy, I feel as though my opinion should be worth taking into consideration, because realistically speaking, I know what's attractive about a guy and what isn't.
Good luck.