04-14-2016, 10:45 AM
Hi Everyone,
I've got a bit of a story for you. So, my husband and I have been together for a couple of years. Our son is 8 months old. My husbands friend (I met him at the same time I met my husband) was going through a divorce with his wife of ten years and mother of his 3 children. She left him and took the kids and his entire paycheck was eaten up by child support while he lived with his parents in limbo. The company my husband and friend worked for payed off both of them about 18 months ago. My friends mother was very sick and he helped his father take care of her. She passed away a little under a year ago. His father kicked him out March24th. He has not held a job since the company laid him off, and he spends his time smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and playing video games.
As if March 24th my husband and I had quit smoking cigarettes for 28 days and I had started working after more than a year at home 2 months earlier. My husband had had a steady job for 6 months and we were adapting to our second shift with an infant lifestyle. Things were changing for us and we were feeling some tension. Then our friend shows up and needs help. I want to help him. I realize the depression he's suffered the last two years. I can't understand how he feels. At the same time, I struggleD with post Parton depression throughout the winter after my son was born. I Was under a lot of pressure managing finances and going to college full time. I knew I had to start working again so I found a job at a call center
I was nervous and skeptical of letting our friend stay with us in our two bedroom upstairs open apartment. There is no privacy. And one bathroom. My husband and I almost didn't make it in the beginning when he moved in to my apartment because I couldn't give up control of my home and how particular I am. I've really tried working on this and have made vast improvements, but this is with my husband. My husband though, wanted him to stay. So, I accepted our friend, with the conditions that he get a job within a week and moves out within a month after that. I wanted him to have a months worth of paychecks to move out on.
He had a job within a week! He was helping around the house and cooking dinner, though trashing my kitchen in the mean time. My son loves him. All was great. Then unfortunately a minor charge from 7 years previous came back on his background check and he was unemployed and dejected. I've tried to motivate him, I've told him self esteem will help him push on and up. Then he tried to get into my husbands work. They won't take him because of the background check either. We researched and informed him on how to get his record expunged but he lacks motivation to do it, we even offered to pay.
I also offered to pay for his GED. I told him, my father paid for my husbands gED so we're just paying it forward. He doesn't want to accept money from us like that. Except I lent him my small 300 dollar credit card to use for the entire month he would be staying with us and it was maxed out with gas and cigarettes, but with a few groceries. He received his one paycheck from the job and it was used to pay his weekly car payment and to take his kids to Disney On Ice (he had purchased the tickets months ago). I understood that.
Basically, he's our friend and there's been so good things about his stay. But he hasn't even attempted to look for a job and spends his days on our couch running our electric up playing video games and watching tv. And smoking. I'm smoking a cigarette right now. Because he needs to go but it's breaking my heart. And I discussed with my husband and May 1st our original date is what we've agreed on.
But he won't have a job. He'll be homeless with nowhere to go but at least the weathers nice? Why so soon? Well, I found out two days ago that I'm pregnant again. I didn't want another baby but we have accepted and will love this one all the more. We haven't told anyone yet, except our friend. I asked him to go outside to smoke and he still goes in our attic. He wants me to find jobs for him since he can't find a warehouse and I just can't handle it.
I feel like he needs to go before I explode and destroy the relationship. But telling him he needs to go by May 1st will certainly damage it at the least. My husband and I need to start saving to buy a home. Immediately. We can't stay in this apartment. We weren't expecting this. I just don't know how to feel and I don't want to back down. I need my home back.
I've got a bit of a story for you. So, my husband and I have been together for a couple of years. Our son is 8 months old. My husbands friend (I met him at the same time I met my husband) was going through a divorce with his wife of ten years and mother of his 3 children. She left him and took the kids and his entire paycheck was eaten up by child support while he lived with his parents in limbo. The company my husband and friend worked for payed off both of them about 18 months ago. My friends mother was very sick and he helped his father take care of her. She passed away a little under a year ago. His father kicked him out March24th. He has not held a job since the company laid him off, and he spends his time smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and playing video games.
As if March 24th my husband and I had quit smoking cigarettes for 28 days and I had started working after more than a year at home 2 months earlier. My husband had had a steady job for 6 months and we were adapting to our second shift with an infant lifestyle. Things were changing for us and we were feeling some tension. Then our friend shows up and needs help. I want to help him. I realize the depression he's suffered the last two years. I can't understand how he feels. At the same time, I struggleD with post Parton depression throughout the winter after my son was born. I Was under a lot of pressure managing finances and going to college full time. I knew I had to start working again so I found a job at a call center
I was nervous and skeptical of letting our friend stay with us in our two bedroom upstairs open apartment. There is no privacy. And one bathroom. My husband and I almost didn't make it in the beginning when he moved in to my apartment because I couldn't give up control of my home and how particular I am. I've really tried working on this and have made vast improvements, but this is with my husband. My husband though, wanted him to stay. So, I accepted our friend, with the conditions that he get a job within a week and moves out within a month after that. I wanted him to have a months worth of paychecks to move out on.
He had a job within a week! He was helping around the house and cooking dinner, though trashing my kitchen in the mean time. My son loves him. All was great. Then unfortunately a minor charge from 7 years previous came back on his background check and he was unemployed and dejected. I've tried to motivate him, I've told him self esteem will help him push on and up. Then he tried to get into my husbands work. They won't take him because of the background check either. We researched and informed him on how to get his record expunged but he lacks motivation to do it, we even offered to pay.
I also offered to pay for his GED. I told him, my father paid for my husbands gED so we're just paying it forward. He doesn't want to accept money from us like that. Except I lent him my small 300 dollar credit card to use for the entire month he would be staying with us and it was maxed out with gas and cigarettes, but with a few groceries. He received his one paycheck from the job and it was used to pay his weekly car payment and to take his kids to Disney On Ice (he had purchased the tickets months ago). I understood that.
Basically, he's our friend and there's been so good things about his stay. But he hasn't even attempted to look for a job and spends his days on our couch running our electric up playing video games and watching tv. And smoking. I'm smoking a cigarette right now. Because he needs to go but it's breaking my heart. And I discussed with my husband and May 1st our original date is what we've agreed on.
But he won't have a job. He'll be homeless with nowhere to go but at least the weathers nice? Why so soon? Well, I found out two days ago that I'm pregnant again. I didn't want another baby but we have accepted and will love this one all the more. We haven't told anyone yet, except our friend. I asked him to go outside to smoke and he still goes in our attic. He wants me to find jobs for him since he can't find a warehouse and I just can't handle it.
I feel like he needs to go before I explode and destroy the relationship. But telling him he needs to go by May 1st will certainly damage it at the least. My husband and I need to start saving to buy a home. Immediately. We can't stay in this apartment. We weren't expecting this. I just don't know how to feel and I don't want to back down. I need my home back.