My ex boyfriend and I had been together on and off for a year and a half.
Recently there was a domestic violence dispute and he was taken to jail. When he got out, we didn't talk at first but we missed each other so we started talking again. Because of the domestic violence thing, a no contact order was put into place so the other night, the cops came to his house, saw us together, and arrested him again.
He just got out of jail and has blocked me on everything, changed his number, and the last words he said to me before he went to jail were I hate you. I'm depressed, we were engaged and now he hates me.
When I get depressed it gets worse and worse each time. I also have an eating disorder so when I'm depressed I don't eat or really even try to take care of myself. I have only eaten one small $1 burger in the past 5 days, I haven't been showering or even getting out of bed, I can't sleep, I've been throwing up, I've been drinking alcohol non stop and I've also been smoking a ton of cigarettes.
Any advice?
Hi, its a bad situation for both of you but you have got to look at things from his perspective. If being around you would get him put in jail then surely you can understand why he has distanced his self from you. I know you have strong feelings for him but turning to alcohol and cigarettes is not the way you need to go. You still have to take care of yourself! Are you really going to pick up terrible habits because you can't be with him? You got to go up not down. You want him to see you doing good and making good choices. Its important that you change the way your thinking. You got to wake up everyday and know that you deserve good things. I know its hard and we have all been there but what is it that you are getting out of not eating, excessive drinking and smoking?? The answer is nothing but bad habits that will cost you money and it will keep you depressed. He is not the only boy that you will ever love. You deserve to wake up everyday and be happy you must tell yourself that. You should focus your energy on yourself. Figure out who you are and what it really Is that you are looking for in a guy .what are some things you are willing to accept and what are the things that you are not willing to accept in your relationship. Then you should figure out what makes you happy what can you do to make the most out of your life. So many people are looking for good companions and if you stay in bed and drink yourself to sleep then how can they find you? If they was a million guys standing in a line and some of the guys drink, smoked and stopped eating, would that be appealing to you enough to pick them out of a line up or would you choose the guys who are positive and doing good things with their life?? I would wake up everyday and find that spark that will make you smile and I would work on positive thinking . you are important! You are worth good things happening to you, you are worth having someone who will love you and not be violent towards you, so many will make you feel the way you want to feel.everything is going to be okay! Things may not happen when you want them to but they always end up working out. Be the best you that you can be! You deserve it!!!!
The one thing I have started to learn is, no matter how bad the situation is with a loved one, if you truly love that person nothing they do will change your feelings towards them. I am going through a kind of similar situation just not physical but emotional. I had a fiancée 5 months ago we have been separated for 4 months we have a kid together. She developed a crush on her coworker and I saw it happening I still tried to make her happy and I know she dreams about him and has feelings. I buy her things and massage her still and help her with chores around her house even though she says she is thinking about getting back with me I just feel like she is kinda using me. but I will never get over her she is my soul mate who I chose to propose to and buy a nice ring and have a family with. love is a powerful thing.
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