07-15-2014, 05:10 PM
I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) I struggled through school and hated every minute of it. I left school with nothing except a relationship with an amazing girl who i ended spending 7 years of my life with.
We were completely in love with each other and spent every day together. We finished college together, moved in with one another and got accepted into the same university. Everything was going great my grades were great, we both had loads of friends and i began to thrive in a sport i was playing. I was asked to play for my national team at student level and was also invited to attend trials at a professional club when their season began. I bulked up got super fit and felt great.
Here's where things started to go wrong. We went out for drinks one night with friends and although we never liked to drink much or stay out late we had reasons to celebrate and decided to stay and have a good time. My girlfriend knocked over someones drink by accident and an altercation ensued, it was quickly resolved and i split everything up apologized and we thought that was all done with.
When we both walked home we were attacked by four people, my gf ended up in hospital and i left with minor injuries. She was glassed and suffered permanent scars.I was never able to get over the attack and felt responsible that i was not able to properly protect my gf. Depression kicked in and i lost around 3 stone within a year, those sports trials came, but i was nowhere near stable enough mentally or physically to even be there and i failed spectacularly.
I couldn't find any medication that worked everything just made me worse and played havoc with my memory and concentration. My grades slipped and i stopped handing in work, my tutors knew about what had happened, they sympathized and told me to resit my 2nd year, so i agreed to. That was 12 months ago. Soon after i began trying to sort my head out and get back to normal i tried to put weight back on and take care of myself. Me and my gf were 7 years into our relationship by now, i found out she had been sleeping with someone else after the incident had happened. We tried to make things work but i couldn't get past it. We split and the plans to get married after university and move abroad vanished.
She moved out and i could no longer afford to pay the rent and had to move back in with my parents. Still determined to get myself better and complete university i tried again. I tried without medication and without my gf supporting me i have felt completely alone and overwhelmed with work, i have had no friends to study with and again my concentration and memory has played havoc. Tonight i have received a letter stating i have failed my attempt at my 2nd year and although i can redo this again it will be next year and i have to fund it myself. This is impossible.
I have no idea what to do right now, i have nothing, i miss my gf immensely, i have no medication that works and do not know where to turn. I feel like i have completely failed at everything.
We were completely in love with each other and spent every day together. We finished college together, moved in with one another and got accepted into the same university. Everything was going great my grades were great, we both had loads of friends and i began to thrive in a sport i was playing. I was asked to play for my national team at student level and was also invited to attend trials at a professional club when their season began. I bulked up got super fit and felt great.
Here's where things started to go wrong. We went out for drinks one night with friends and although we never liked to drink much or stay out late we had reasons to celebrate and decided to stay and have a good time. My girlfriend knocked over someones drink by accident and an altercation ensued, it was quickly resolved and i split everything up apologized and we thought that was all done with.
When we both walked home we were attacked by four people, my gf ended up in hospital and i left with minor injuries. She was glassed and suffered permanent scars.I was never able to get over the attack and felt responsible that i was not able to properly protect my gf. Depression kicked in and i lost around 3 stone within a year, those sports trials came, but i was nowhere near stable enough mentally or physically to even be there and i failed spectacularly.
I couldn't find any medication that worked everything just made me worse and played havoc with my memory and concentration. My grades slipped and i stopped handing in work, my tutors knew about what had happened, they sympathized and told me to resit my 2nd year, so i agreed to. That was 12 months ago. Soon after i began trying to sort my head out and get back to normal i tried to put weight back on and take care of myself. Me and my gf were 7 years into our relationship by now, i found out she had been sleeping with someone else after the incident had happened. We tried to make things work but i couldn't get past it. We split and the plans to get married after university and move abroad vanished.
She moved out and i could no longer afford to pay the rent and had to move back in with my parents. Still determined to get myself better and complete university i tried again. I tried without medication and without my gf supporting me i have felt completely alone and overwhelmed with work, i have had no friends to study with and again my concentration and memory has played havoc. Tonight i have received a letter stating i have failed my attempt at my 2nd year and although i can redo this again it will be next year and i have to fund it myself. This is impossible.
I have no idea what to do right now, i have nothing, i miss my gf immensely, i have no medication that works and do not know where to turn. I feel like i have completely failed at everything.