Support Forums

This may not be where this belongs. I don't know.
Over the time I've come to know you guys as a second family of sorts. I don't have the best homelife (mind you, it's not the worst either) and you're always here when I need you to be.
I don't know what kind of person I try to be on here (hopefully myself), but I've never really talked about my problems. I feel selfish talking about my problems, when there are literally children in Africa starving to death.
Do you ever get this feeling.. no matter how tough or cool you act like where you just.. everything becomes too much? Even if it's little things. They just pile on higher and higher. I don't know.

I feel like I want to complain and be a little b**** about it, though I know it doesn't help anything. Wallowing in self-remorse and pity won't help much anything either, but yet today I cried like a little girl. I just..

The worst part is nothing in my life right now is overwhelming. I've dealt with 100x worse than what I'm dealing with now, but I just feel so helpless. So.. alone. And I know I shouldn't! I have a loving family, and I have lots of friends. I have you guys, and people I hang out with all the time, and my parents and grandparents are all there. I could blame this all on my father, but what good would that do? Absolutely none. The only reason I feel this way is because of some girl I barely know. Well, besides an absurd amount of internet related stress due to the fact I seem incapable of hiring anything who has any sort of basic knowledge on the projects I work on.

I met this girl on the internet (don't ask how.. long story) and we get along great. We've never fought, or had any disagreements, and she's perfect. That's the problem. She lives in California (I live in Virginia). This doesn't make most people.. have problems, I guess. But.. I'm jealous. Of everyone. Everything. Her cousins, her uncles, every person that accidentally brushes past her, or just glimpses at her. I got jealous of her f****** cats! Do you know how stupid that is?!
And don't tell me "Oh, this is what love feels like." I know damn too well I'm too young to be in love currently.
Which brings me to another point. Age. While our relationship would be completely legal, she is 2 years younger than me (shoot me) which makes me uncomfortable. I was raised in a family where the line was drawn at about 2 years (more or less).

I really don't know what to do. It's not only this, but that's the major problem I'm having. I don't want to be like.. OMG I'm in loveesszzzz because I haven't known her for that long. But I just.. I can't explain it.

Again, I'm really sorry is this is in the wrong place, and I'm sorry for dragging you along with this. I just.. I've hit that point. I needed to talk about something, and.. my family isn't the BEST listeners in the world. No, I'm not asking for "comfort" or "advice" (though the later would be useful). I just need to vent, and talk.

Go ahead, call me weak, call me a baby. I don't care.

I just wanted to say talking out your feelings can be a good way of releasing the frustration you feel, so don't feel you are in the wrong place. At least I hope you feel this can be a place to feel safe to talking about how you feel.

I don't wish to take your pain away, as I cannot. How you feel is unique to you. But I hope as least by saying its not uncommon for people around your age to feel similar feelings and experience strong emotions from them about how another person can make you feel. Its not easy, and can be confusing, frustrating and deeply painful at times. Behaving in ways that may even surprise yourself in years to come.

But maybe I could leave you to consider one thing, 'Are you feeling this way because of the person you have spoken to over the net and how much you want to be with them as a person to hold on too or is it ''how this person makes you feel inside''. These feelings could be filling an emotional needs holes within that could not have been filled in the past.

Sometimes after a while being with this person this hole may become filled. Once filled your feelings being experienced now may somewhat not be the same for this person, because you may no longer feel the hunger for the emotional fill. In turn you may not feel attracted as you once felt you were.

So love may not be what you could be considering your feeling, it could be your looking for someone to fill an emotional void inside you.

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if you are comfortable to do so, talk with them about how you feel, maybe about this girl, how your contact with her makes you feel. You may not consider this but your parents may also be suitable people to talk to because I would expect they may too have gone through something similar you have been experiencing today, and maybe able to offer you the explanation you maybe seeking.

Talking openly about how you feel does take courage and strength, but if you do consider talking with parents is an option you my find your relationship with them may also come closer and come to find some of your emotional needs becoming filled a little more.

Apologies I can not offer more help to ease how your feeling at the moment, experiencing feelings as you are may tend to dismiss everyone else's advice's because of how powerful these feelings are. it is deeply painful and the thought of losing this person and/or more so the feeling they make you feel, maybe is more fearful to you.

I hope you may find some comfort in these words. But feel free to talk on a forum like this, it can help.

Take care

Andre

Hi,
First of all I would like to tell that here, in the emotional support section of the forum no one will call you weak or a baby. This is a support forum unlike the real world we are here only to help you without being mean or disrespectful!
Now that this is said I also want to tell you that I completely understand how you feel. Feeling selfish and insecure about talking about personal problems is something that I feel all the time. This is nothing strange and it only means that you are a person with a worm heart. I usually put the problems of other before my own. Sometimes I do some selfish things and usually I feel bad about them later (and sometimes even while doing them... weird I know).
The last time I felt the way you do because of a girl was a few months ago, but that ended quickly, because it wasn't the first time for me to want to be with someone who was far away. What I recommend doing is just talking with someone, not only about the girl but about the way you feel about talking about personal problems. It can be your parents a close friend/friends it can also be the girl herself, or anyone you feel like talking to. I know you may think that it is only going to sound weird and maybe annoying to her, but if she cares about you and feels at least half of what you feel about her she would want to know about your problems and feeling especially the ones you feel towards her.
Talking about your problems and feelings with someone you trust might seem selfish and weird, but it really helps a lot, trust me! ;)
If you prefer to talk to someone who doesn't know you personally, but still understands you, or if for any reason you want to talk to me, you can just PM me or leave a reply here and I will message you.
Feel free to ask me any questions you may have.