02-17-2014, 09:32 PM
So I'm wondering if you guys know what's wrong with me or have any ideas to help my condition.
So, I'm not sure how to diagnose me, but whatever I'm going through is horrible. So you know, there is no exaggeration. My situation is sever.
I've been in the mental hospital 4 times. Once because I went to the hospital because I believed I was dying; they kept me for a day. This was early last year. Next time for 10 days I'm not sure how long after the previous. I was with friends and some police came by for an unknown reason. But, long story short, one of them decided I should me emitted.
I was emitted again by my family. I was there for 2 months.
I'm now seeing a psychiatrist and taking anti depressants.
But nothing seems to help. I wonder if it's something simpler and maybe I just need to talk about this. I hope you all will keep a open mind. I thought I'd talk to some people who may have or are going through what I am. Maybe you guys will understand what I am going through. No one seems to yet.
I met this guy I started smoking weed with him. We knew each other for 6 months. He was my BF. My life started getting crazy when I met him and went totally down hill to the point I am now at.
My mom died of cancer near the end of our relationship. Nov 2nd 2012 is when she died. Sorry, that was random. Just informing you.
So I'm gonna explain to you the strange symptoms I'm experiencing. I can't figure out if I'm very mentally ill or just experiencing big changes, dealing with sever depression, or something else. I can't shake the feeling it's emotional. And maybe I just need to get it out. I don't believe it's a disease. Maybe all these things can relate to sever emotional pain? Who knows....
I have alot of trouble passing gas. I mean, I rarely fart. Seriously.
I have trouble swallowing and chewing food and don't enjoy eating at all.
I sneeze, like, once a week. Makes sense, because I feel constant pressure in my head. Sometimes I blow my nose and that gives me a little relief. I can't seem to recognize myself in the mirror. I feel no emotional connection with my reflection, or with anything for that matter. I'm irritable. Every time I hear any of my family members' voices' it makes me feel sick or I feel nothing at all. I have no interest in my family. I have no interest in watching TV, playing games, reading books, or listening to music, which is really unusual because that was my favorite thing. I never feel like laughing, but I am able to force laughter. I can't be aroused. That part is very frustrating. I walk around for hours without stopping outside. For some reason I get a very strong urge to walk. My eye sight is constantly unfocused. My hearing isn't good. Everything sounds far away.
And
Just to make sure you understand, all of these things have only been happening sense I've felt out of it. Which happened late 2012.
Back to the symptoms...I don't have an interest in anything. I feel to tired, disinterested, and just plain out of it to do anything. I have a hard time getting the desire and motivation to brush my teeth, ect.
And my family ignores and excludes me sense these things have been happening. I would describe their behavior as down right heartless.
The most annoying, mysterious, and possibly worrisome symptom, is the fact I can't seem to think back on things. I can't remember my childhood and have all around bad memory. I can't seem to experience emotions either. I find myself hitting myself desperate to feel something.
I can relate alot to the symptoms of Depersonalization disorder. And Everything feels numb and I can't tell if what I am experiencing is real or not. I can't cry. I try. This lack of highs and lows is frustrating. The only thing I can seem to experience is frustration. I can fake emotions, though. I can't feel them, but I can act like I'm feeling them. I don't care about anything. My thoughts are very quiet, I debate from time to time whether I'm able to think at all. I have no interest in conversation and there was a period where I was talking to myself in public. Also, I wonder if I have down syndrome or am mentally retarded and no one told me. Sometimes I believe those things more then other's. like right now, I don't believe I'm retarded but later I may feel convinced. Anyway, I'll end it here for now. I may participate in this forum, because maybe the conversation and talking will help return my mental clarity.
A huge thanks in advance to anyone who reads this and comes up with any kind of answers. Hoping to hear about personal experience with these things the most.
Oh, and I'm a 24 year old woman. My name's Krista. Nice to meet you.
So, I'm not sure how to diagnose me, but whatever I'm going through is horrible. So you know, there is no exaggeration. My situation is sever.
I've been in the mental hospital 4 times. Once because I went to the hospital because I believed I was dying; they kept me for a day. This was early last year. Next time for 10 days I'm not sure how long after the previous. I was with friends and some police came by for an unknown reason. But, long story short, one of them decided I should me emitted.
I was emitted again by my family. I was there for 2 months.
I'm now seeing a psychiatrist and taking anti depressants.
But nothing seems to help. I wonder if it's something simpler and maybe I just need to talk about this. I hope you all will keep a open mind. I thought I'd talk to some people who may have or are going through what I am. Maybe you guys will understand what I am going through. No one seems to yet.
I met this guy I started smoking weed with him. We knew each other for 6 months. He was my BF. My life started getting crazy when I met him and went totally down hill to the point I am now at.
My mom died of cancer near the end of our relationship. Nov 2nd 2012 is when she died. Sorry, that was random. Just informing you.
So I'm gonna explain to you the strange symptoms I'm experiencing. I can't figure out if I'm very mentally ill or just experiencing big changes, dealing with sever depression, or something else. I can't shake the feeling it's emotional. And maybe I just need to get it out. I don't believe it's a disease. Maybe all these things can relate to sever emotional pain? Who knows....
I have alot of trouble passing gas. I mean, I rarely fart. Seriously.
I have trouble swallowing and chewing food and don't enjoy eating at all.
I sneeze, like, once a week. Makes sense, because I feel constant pressure in my head. Sometimes I blow my nose and that gives me a little relief. I can't seem to recognize myself in the mirror. I feel no emotional connection with my reflection, or with anything for that matter. I'm irritable. Every time I hear any of my family members' voices' it makes me feel sick or I feel nothing at all. I have no interest in my family. I have no interest in watching TV, playing games, reading books, or listening to music, which is really unusual because that was my favorite thing. I never feel like laughing, but I am able to force laughter. I can't be aroused. That part is very frustrating. I walk around for hours without stopping outside. For some reason I get a very strong urge to walk. My eye sight is constantly unfocused. My hearing isn't good. Everything sounds far away.
And
Just to make sure you understand, all of these things have only been happening sense I've felt out of it. Which happened late 2012.
Back to the symptoms...I don't have an interest in anything. I feel to tired, disinterested, and just plain out of it to do anything. I have a hard time getting the desire and motivation to brush my teeth, ect.
And my family ignores and excludes me sense these things have been happening. I would describe their behavior as down right heartless.
The most annoying, mysterious, and possibly worrisome symptom, is the fact I can't seem to think back on things. I can't remember my childhood and have all around bad memory. I can't seem to experience emotions either. I find myself hitting myself desperate to feel something.
I can relate alot to the symptoms of Depersonalization disorder. And Everything feels numb and I can't tell if what I am experiencing is real or not. I can't cry. I try. This lack of highs and lows is frustrating. The only thing I can seem to experience is frustration. I can fake emotions, though. I can't feel them, but I can act like I'm feeling them. I don't care about anything. My thoughts are very quiet, I debate from time to time whether I'm able to think at all. I have no interest in conversation and there was a period where I was talking to myself in public. Also, I wonder if I have down syndrome or am mentally retarded and no one told me. Sometimes I believe those things more then other's. like right now, I don't believe I'm retarded but later I may feel convinced. Anyway, I'll end it here for now. I may participate in this forum, because maybe the conversation and talking will help return my mental clarity.
A huge thanks in advance to anyone who reads this and comes up with any kind of answers. Hoping to hear about personal experience with these things the most.
Oh, and I'm a 24 year old woman. My name's Krista. Nice to meet you.