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Full Version: Do I say something, and if so, what?
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I've been working through a really hard time right now. It started when I thought I was being annoying, and quickly escalated to me thinking my best friend hated me. I went silent and awkward, but by the time I said anything it was too late, and I was too deep. It's been over a year now, but with my best friend's help I'm finally coming round. I'm much less awkward in one on one situations, but groups more than that are still an issue.
You see, because of what happened, I lost who I was, and in that, my confidence and character. In group situations, I usually end up the third wheel. It's getting to the point where I'm just tagging along in silence, choking back tears, watching my friends laughing and joking, and I desperately want to say something. Thing is, my best friend's helped me with this so much, and she does really care, she's probably not meaning to do this, but I have to say something. Not letting my feelings out was what started all this, and I swore I would never keep them in again. What do I do? I don't want to make her feel bad! Is there anyway I can ask if she prefers the company of the others, or tell her that I feel left out without making her feel bad? It's mostly my fault for being awkward and anxiety ridden, but if I don't let this out, it will just slowly crush me!
I guess I can see a lot of myself in the past in what you said. I am not very good at consoling people but I hope it could help.
Your friends probably doesn't care about that you are anxious, you are probably over thinking it, just relax and choose something to focus on instead of yourself in conversations, perhaps the things that they were laughing about? If you have an interest choose to focus on that. You said you are too deep sometimes. I wonder if you were like me when I was really engaged in abstract thinking. I finally found out that it is taking me away from my life. I tried to do things. Day to day things. Got a job and make myself focus on the work. Eventually it got better. The trick is to focus. When you are good at what you do, people respect you for that. That gave me my confidence. Don't think about yourself too much. It could really eat you up.