I'm in my late 20s and I've never really had any friends that stayed with me as I grew up. I had friends in high school and college, but I've grown apart from all of them/ none really seemed to want to keep in touch. I have a few acquaintances which I keep in touch with a text/ phone call every few months. However, it's gets so lonely to not have anyone to talk to and actually want to be close friends with you. I've been feeling more depressed and lonely, especially when I hear people talk about hanging out with their friends. I have a boyfriend who I've been with for a while, but the need to have a close friend, even one gnaws at me sometimes.
My birthday passed about a month ago and it felt so depressing having no one except my bf and sister greet me happy birthday. I felt so alone that I rented a hotel to be on my own hoping a nice room in nyc would distract me. My bf wanted to take me out but I told him I just wanted alone time. Has anyone felt this way/ in the same current situation? It's so hard to find people to be friends with.
I know how you feel, I'm sort of similar at the moment. I had friends at school, I currently have friends in college and work, but I doubt I'm ever going to keep in close contact with them when we go our separate ways. I had a friend which I knew for five years, but as soon as he moved to another country, I didn't bother contacting him. Do you have a job at the moment? Maybe you could try making friends with your colleagues.
(08-04-2013, 08:17 PM)elena r Wrote: [ -> ]I'm in my late 20s and I've never really had any friends that stayed with me as I grew up. I had friends in high school and college, but I've grown apart from all of them/ none really seemed to want to keep in touch. I have a few acquaintances which I keep in touch with a text/ phone call every few months. However, it's gets so lonely to not have anyone to talk to and actually want to be close friends with you. I've been feeling more depressed and lonely, especially when I hear people talk about hanging out with their friends. I have a boyfriend who I've been with for a while, but the need to have a close friend, even one gnaws at me sometimes.
My birthday passed about a month ago and it felt so depressing having no one except my bf and sister greet me happy birthday. I felt so alone that I rented a hotel to be on my own hoping a nice room in nyc would distract me. My bf wanted to take me out but I told him I just wanted alone time. Has anyone felt this way/ in the same current situation? It's so hard to find people to be friends with.
have you been tested for depression? A lot of people experience slight depression after graduating from high school, for reasons you just described. From there it usually gets worse assuming they don't interact with any of their peers. Don't let lonely-ness bring you down OP. The truth is, it's extremely easy to over come with the right attitude.
Think of it like this: There are billions of people in this world, statistically speaking there are millions just like you... In terms of your interests and personality anyway. By that logic, making friends is actually easy assuming you're yourself and you're not over thinking everything. My suggestion would be to go out with your BF and a close friend, and tell her to bring some friends along. Odds are you'll like one of them and expand your network from there.
I honestly feel the same way and unfortunately, Debra's post didn't help much (thanks for trying though :], you're awesome). The only difference is I'm 14 and male, but I don't have any friends that I'm serious about. It's almost more like 'good acquaintances' really. As a result of this load of free time to myself, I can think deeply about life and my own, which only leads me to realize darker things. I've felt this way since I was 6, really. You know it's bad when you've been on the darknet looking for friends at age 12.
(08-14-2013, 12:47 AM)xEpicTaco Wrote: [ -> ]I honestly feel the same way and unfortunately, Debra's post didn't help much (thanks for trying though :], you're awesome). The only difference is I'm 14 and male, but I don't have any friends that I'm serious about. It's almost more like 'good acquaintances' really. As a result of this load of free time to myself, I can think deeply about life and my own, which only leads me to realize darker things. I've felt this way since I was 6, really. You know it's bad when you've been on the darknet looking for friends at age 12.
Why not join a sports team or some sort of club? Or go out with friends. Too much alone time is never good for someone in your position mate. You need to stay occupied.
Hi Elena,
I don't have many friends, either. Facebook friends that I mostly don't see. I like the people I work with but, basically, I think I'm quite a difficult person to befriend. Maybe you are the same way? I am very unique in my general interests to the point where I don't even know where I fit in... most of the people I tend to befriend are punk rock oriented people, but even though I like that music, I'm a bit too old to be fanatical about it. I like Grateful Dead and jazz guitar plus all sorts of adult contemporary rock / girly rock my wife introduces me to... also, I am pretty seriously into music, but sometimes I'm just not. And those times tend to be when others want to talk about it. I don't particularly like deadheads or punkers and I don't know any jazz guitar fans (but if I did, I'm not sure how much of a conversation there'd be about jazz guitar; I'd probably get bored).
Lately, I love talking about the shows I am watching and I have always been into mystical, supernatural topics. But, even if I click with someone who is totally into the same stuff as me at the same time, there isn't much to talk about. I think I am just more into my own thing than most other people. I do like hanging out with other people, but I tend to get bored after a while and want to go home and do something I am interested in.
If you're like me in this way, then I think just get used to not having many friends. It's not really a big deal, is it? What would we do with a bunch of friends? Talk over each other in a big gaggle?
I live in NYC which may be where you live as well and I think it is an easy city to get lost in. People can be nice and easy to make friends, but they can also disappear from your life pretty easily simply by moving to a different borough or a thousand other things. I think in the city, you just have to make friends with whoever you find yourself surrounded by.
You can also go to Meetups about topics you're interested in... which is what I'm going to start doing.
Yeah MeetUp is good if you live in a decent sized area.
Alternatively, you could use sites that sell tickets to events to see if there are any interesting events to go to. Not ideal if you're broke but not all are expensive and some events are even free
