04-06-2013, 03:30 PM
There is this girl lily that i met like 2 years ago and we met thru freinds she was dating someone when i met her and i just wanted a friendship but she began to like me after her and her boyfriend were argueing and things wernt going well so they broke up and she told me she likes me and left him for me bassicly..
So i began to get more into her and we talked and got to know eachother and became really close then we started dating and i fell inlove with her because the moments we shared were like something i couldnt experiance with someone else, and she just made me happy constintly..
then we had sex.. and it changed us because it brought us closer and i knew she trusted me with alot after that.. but i wanted it more then she did and it made me upset she wouldnt give it to me when i wanted it because i did everything to make her happy and felt like she didnt want to do things to make me happy.
So we got in a huge argument and i said i was going to kill myself because i had my gun loaded and was going insane, she didnt like that and told me that she needed to talk to me the next day after im calmed down so that we could fix this, and i talked to her the next day and she didnt even try to fix things she just threw me out and told me that we are done..
So we stopped talking for like 5 months and i messaged her saying how i changed and that i really missed her etc, and we have been talking since then..
Now all i wanted was a friendship when we started talking again..
But she was saying stuff like come cuddle with me and stuff so of course i chased after her again and then she put me down and said all she wants is a friendship and that nothings ever going to happen with us anymore, but when we wernt talking she went and fudged like 4 guys and i cant seem to get over that its just hurting me..
Because i respected her so much more then that.. but instead she just gave her body away and it really hurt me.. =/
And like ive been trying to see her in person as freinds instead of talking on the phone everynight..
And she doesent make it an effort to see me, when shes always with these other people and all these other guys i dont see why she cant just see me, but she told me that she is afraid to see me in person because she thinks im going to snap on her and do something meaning im going to hit her or something.. when i would never lay my hands on another girl.. and it just hurts the one girl that i love cant even trust me...
But lastnight i was fine and she said she wanted to talk on the phone but i didnt want too because i wanted to do my own things.
Then she called me and i answered and we talked but it turned into an argument because i was telling her how i dont want her to find someone else and i dont want her to go and fudge other guys i just want it to be me.. because i do love her and i want to make it work but its so hard to make it work because all we do is ever fight, i dont know how to deal with this at this point.
Everyone just tells me i need to move on but its so hard to move on from someone u love i dont want too loose her.. because i feel like if i change and do everything right i can have her, and thats all i want but then im unhappy because im on my knees crying for someone that doesent want me..
I love this girl support forums if i could marry her i would..
I had the worst anxiety attack i have ever dealt with last night because of our argument that was caused for the reason of her forcing me to talk to her when i didn't want too.
I tell her i want space and need to think and she ask me for how long ? She makes me feel obligated to talk to her, like we are in a relationship.
Even tho we are just friends according to her, why does it have to be how long ? She tells me shes not going to wait around for me, what does that mean?
How can u wait for someone that u claim u are just friends with..
I feel like she is purposely playing mind games with me at this point because she knows i am vulnerable to her love.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and feel that i can be bi polar at some times..
I want to fix things and be happy, but i dont know if that will ever happen with us again, What should i do guys ? i really need help.
So i began to get more into her and we talked and got to know eachother and became really close then we started dating and i fell inlove with her because the moments we shared were like something i couldnt experiance with someone else, and she just made me happy constintly..
then we had sex.. and it changed us because it brought us closer and i knew she trusted me with alot after that.. but i wanted it more then she did and it made me upset she wouldnt give it to me when i wanted it because i did everything to make her happy and felt like she didnt want to do things to make me happy.
So we got in a huge argument and i said i was going to kill myself because i had my gun loaded and was going insane, she didnt like that and told me that she needed to talk to me the next day after im calmed down so that we could fix this, and i talked to her the next day and she didnt even try to fix things she just threw me out and told me that we are done..
So we stopped talking for like 5 months and i messaged her saying how i changed and that i really missed her etc, and we have been talking since then..
Now all i wanted was a friendship when we started talking again..
But she was saying stuff like come cuddle with me and stuff so of course i chased after her again and then she put me down and said all she wants is a friendship and that nothings ever going to happen with us anymore, but when we wernt talking she went and fudged like 4 guys and i cant seem to get over that its just hurting me..
Because i respected her so much more then that.. but instead she just gave her body away and it really hurt me.. =/
And like ive been trying to see her in person as freinds instead of talking on the phone everynight..
And she doesent make it an effort to see me, when shes always with these other people and all these other guys i dont see why she cant just see me, but she told me that she is afraid to see me in person because she thinks im going to snap on her and do something meaning im going to hit her or something.. when i would never lay my hands on another girl.. and it just hurts the one girl that i love cant even trust me...
But lastnight i was fine and she said she wanted to talk on the phone but i didnt want too because i wanted to do my own things.
Then she called me and i answered and we talked but it turned into an argument because i was telling her how i dont want her to find someone else and i dont want her to go and fudge other guys i just want it to be me.. because i do love her and i want to make it work but its so hard to make it work because all we do is ever fight, i dont know how to deal with this at this point.
Everyone just tells me i need to move on but its so hard to move on from someone u love i dont want too loose her.. because i feel like if i change and do everything right i can have her, and thats all i want but then im unhappy because im on my knees crying for someone that doesent want me..
I love this girl support forums if i could marry her i would..
I had the worst anxiety attack i have ever dealt with last night because of our argument that was caused for the reason of her forcing me to talk to her when i didn't want too.
I tell her i want space and need to think and she ask me for how long ? She makes me feel obligated to talk to her, like we are in a relationship.
Even tho we are just friends according to her, why does it have to be how long ? She tells me shes not going to wait around for me, what does that mean?
How can u wait for someone that u claim u are just friends with..
I feel like she is purposely playing mind games with me at this point because she knows i am vulnerable to her love.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and feel that i can be bi polar at some times..
I want to fix things and be happy, but i dont know if that will ever happen with us again, What should i do guys ? i really need help.