10-29-2012, 01:52 PM
Hi,
This is a long story, so apologies in advance.
This last June my wife, of 7 years who I'd been with since I was 17 (for the last 12 years) left.
We found out she was Pregnant in May, which in my mind was great news, as we had been trying for our second child, and I was so happy.
Then a series of events occurred.
Firstly my car gave out, and I had to spend 2 weeks getting a new car, and finance which we really couldn't afford.
Then I was ill, for approximately a week, with a mystery virus that meant I was pretty much useless.
She used this time to lie to me about working late and on weekends, to continue an affair she stated started in May.
I eventually confronted her as she was acting distant and weird for a while and she admitted to the affair saying she was going to move in with the man who worked for her and take my daughter with her, she told me she had planned to tell me later and they had planned for her to move in August, all this in a month.
I was angry and she left that night taking my daughter and refusing to let me see her for 2 months, and is now making my life increasingly difficult especially when it comes to seeing and speaking to my daughter whom I love dearly.
the only time my wife has spoken to me since she left (oh by the way she went and moved herself and my daughter into this guys house...so after a month of an affair she moves in with him) she has told me she didn't love me and only married me out of fear claiming that I tried to control her and all of her actions.
after some soul searching I realised that my marriage had truly been over for the last 3 years with neither of us willing to admit it, although I had tried to arrange counselling she would not go, instead insisting that I was the problem.
Anyway, I moved on, and I met a new girl, she was very wary as she was 2 months out of a very abusive relationship, and we agreed to take things slowly.
This is where my problem/question/query comes in.
We have been together for almost 4 months now, and I need some help!
at first she was very full on, texting and calling all the time, she's 21 im 29 by the way, the constant stream of texts etc was at first annoying as it was new and I wasn't used to so much attention, then when it died away I found i missed it.
she is very quiet around me when we are alone together, she doesn't like to make choices and shrugs her shoulders at me more than she speaks to me, she says she loves me and I lover her too, but I can't help feeling like something is wrong, it might be my past experience playing tricks on me it might be her past relationship haunting us, but I can't help but feeling like she doesn't love me, she says she does, but then she never reaches out to me for any sort of physical connection Im always the one holding her hand or putting my arm around her. she will speak to strangers more and with more passion that she will ever speak to me when we are alone and I don't know why? am I overreacting or does she just like having me there as a secuirty blanket?
I am very worried that this is the case, as this is what my wife did, she stayed with me until someone else came along.
my girlfriend doesn't like to talk about her feelings with me, but then the minute I leave she and I will have in dept discussions about our relationship over text.
if anyone can give me some help or insight into her behavior I would appreciate it.
This is a long story, so apologies in advance.
This last June my wife, of 7 years who I'd been with since I was 17 (for the last 12 years) left.
We found out she was Pregnant in May, which in my mind was great news, as we had been trying for our second child, and I was so happy.
Then a series of events occurred.
Firstly my car gave out, and I had to spend 2 weeks getting a new car, and finance which we really couldn't afford.
Then I was ill, for approximately a week, with a mystery virus that meant I was pretty much useless.
She used this time to lie to me about working late and on weekends, to continue an affair she stated started in May.
I eventually confronted her as she was acting distant and weird for a while and she admitted to the affair saying she was going to move in with the man who worked for her and take my daughter with her, she told me she had planned to tell me later and they had planned for her to move in August, all this in a month.
I was angry and she left that night taking my daughter and refusing to let me see her for 2 months, and is now making my life increasingly difficult especially when it comes to seeing and speaking to my daughter whom I love dearly.
the only time my wife has spoken to me since she left (oh by the way she went and moved herself and my daughter into this guys house...so after a month of an affair she moves in with him) she has told me she didn't love me and only married me out of fear claiming that I tried to control her and all of her actions.
after some soul searching I realised that my marriage had truly been over for the last 3 years with neither of us willing to admit it, although I had tried to arrange counselling she would not go, instead insisting that I was the problem.
Anyway, I moved on, and I met a new girl, she was very wary as she was 2 months out of a very abusive relationship, and we agreed to take things slowly.
This is where my problem/question/query comes in.
We have been together for almost 4 months now, and I need some help!
at first she was very full on, texting and calling all the time, she's 21 im 29 by the way, the constant stream of texts etc was at first annoying as it was new and I wasn't used to so much attention, then when it died away I found i missed it.
she is very quiet around me when we are alone together, she doesn't like to make choices and shrugs her shoulders at me more than she speaks to me, she says she loves me and I lover her too, but I can't help feeling like something is wrong, it might be my past experience playing tricks on me it might be her past relationship haunting us, but I can't help but feeling like she doesn't love me, she says she does, but then she never reaches out to me for any sort of physical connection Im always the one holding her hand or putting my arm around her. she will speak to strangers more and with more passion that she will ever speak to me when we are alone and I don't know why? am I overreacting or does she just like having me there as a secuirty blanket?
I am very worried that this is the case, as this is what my wife did, she stayed with me until someone else came along.
my girlfriend doesn't like to talk about her feelings with me, but then the minute I leave she and I will have in dept discussions about our relationship over text.
if anyone can give me some help or insight into her behavior I would appreciate it.