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My father passed away about 4 months ago unexpectedly. The day it happened I had received a call from my sister that he had been rushed to the ER. When I got there the doctor took me into the nurses break room sat me down, and broke it to me with no warning. My gf was there when this happened and we both were crying. That was probably the only time she showed any emotion up until now.
let me share a little about my culture. Our family does a 9 day prayer when someone dies, and during this time my gf would text me on a day to day basis, pretty much asking "how are you doing today?". The same question everyday got me frustrated, How am I going to feel any better as the days pass by? it seemed like she didn't know what to say or do. If anything things got worse as I mourned. She pretty much made the assumption that I wanted my space, but what I really needed was someone to be there with me, and tell me i could count on them for everything. Her response was that it was implied, that i didn't have to ask. I was upset, my father had just passed away, and she barely showed any emotional support, she didn't want to come to my house, because I was being a dick apparently. During this time we had a fight about how i was acting, and pretty much we didn't speak for a couple of days. She claimed that I pushed her away and that I didn't want her around, that comment upset me even more. She claimed that i was suppose to tell her what i needed.
Here is when it gets good. We had my fathers viewing about a week later because i was finishing finals with all this going on, she didn't even go up to pay her respects, or even showed one bit of emotion. Even when i went up with my friends to play him a song, she didn't budge. The thing that turned the light bulb on was when i had taken her out for her birthday 3 months later. That day her mother was making her feel guilty about not taking her cousin who was leaving for Wisconsin, from the frustration she broke down in my car. I was like "WTF, this made you cry, but not my fathers viewing?" i was thinking that the whole time, but i never said a word.

I am in nursing school and people that I have only known for 5 months rounded up money for me, and my family to pay for the funeral. These people who I barely met have shown me more emotional support than her.

Time has passed and that has been in the back of my mind, I want to ask her why she wasn't there emotionally for me, why did she act that why during one of the most difficult times in my life?

I've been thinking about this everyday, and something inside me is telling me to give her the benefit of the doubt, and that I should ask her. whatever answer she gives will depend on whether i want to stay with her or not, we have been together for about 4 years.

What should I do guys, I need to address this.

In all honesty she sounds like she in fact didn't know what to say. Not everyone knows how to handle something like that the same way you do, especially since her BF's dad passed away. Some people know exactly what to do and will be like you want them to be, others have no clue what exactly you expect from them and maybe she though you didn't want her to be as emotional too. There may be reasons for that. Maybe she thought you'd think you had enough problems already without her crying over your dad? Maybe she didn't want to hurt you by saying something wrong and thus tried not to say too much?

I think you should talk to her about it, no doubt. If your relationship keeps going on while you have this in the back of your mind all the time, what's the point? Just address your thoughts and see if you two can figure something out. That conversation is a must for your relationship's future- and maybe not. If you two end up splitting up because of this there really is no point in keeping the relationship since it's already this way.

So my advice; just ask her what's up and why she acted like that. Listen to her like you'd want to be listeed to yourself. Don't be a dick, be there for her. Maybe she thought the way she acted was the right way to be there for YOU. Much luck to you friend, I sincerely hope you two can be together for another very long time