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Ok so it might be a long story but I will try and shorten it down. I was badly abused (not sexually) as a child and all up through my life. Bullied, abusive relationships, drug raped.
I have been homeless, institutionalised and made a cnut out of all my life. To be fair to myself I have done well enough in life. I studied when I was younger in college, got a good job albeit in a different field. I got published two years ago for quite a lot of work.
Things started getting bad again five years ago, I got very sick, got told I was going to die and was bed ridden for months. i got over this but got sick again with serious illnesses. Due to these I cannot work in my regular job so I went back to University last year to study again. Just before I was going to start my father kicked me out of home.
I now live alone and am too sick to work. I found college very hard this time round as nobody spoke to me or even looked at me. This is as crazy as it sounds. I walk down the street and friends I have known all my life cut me dead. I go everywhere alone, everywhere. Nobdy will tell me why this is happening, only that it is all in my head? Fcking joke.
How can you imagine somebody ignoring you. I am nice to EVERYONE, too nice. I am now at the stage where I am sick of texting others and ringing them.As soon as I stop, they don't contact me. I spent Christmas alone, easter alone, NYE alone and my birthday alone.
I am a decent girl, am pretty attractive, and no I am not big headed, I have learned that I am attractive through loving myself. I have nobody in my life whatsoever. I have spent the whole weekend alone, I am sick of getting dressed up and going out alone. I am going for counselling, have asked for help. trying to get legal help. I don't sit around moaning, I usually get on with it. I mean I held down studies and I am seriously sick but nobody ever says 'well done'. I was shocked to see how well I did in my exams, but had nobdy to share it with.
All men want is sex off me, but I refuse to be used like that, even though I used to give in, it did me no favours. I met somebody I really liked and I refused to sleep with him, I never heard from him again. Sorry for the long crap, any replies no matter what, will be appreciated.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]Ok so it might be a long story but I will try and shorten it down. I was badly abused (not sexually) as a child and all up through my life. Bullied, abusive relationships, drug raped.
That sounds rough man, I have respect for you for making it through that. Especially bullying. Nobody should have to go what you've been through.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]To be fair to myself I have done well enough in life. I studied when I was younger in college, got a good job albeit in a different field. I got published two years ago for quite a lot of work.
At-least something went well with your life, you should be proud.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]Things started getting bad again five years ago, I got very sick, got told I was going to die and was bed ridden for months. i got over this but got sick again with serious illnesses. Due to these I cannot work in my regular job so I went back to University last year to study again. Just before I was going to start my father kicked me out of home.
Wow, that sounds really bad! At-least you made it through mate, you get my respect for that.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]I now live alone and am too sick to work. I found college very hard this time round as nobody spoke to me or even looked at me. This is as crazy as it sounds. I walk down the street and friends I have known all my life cut me dead. I go everywhere alone, everywhere. Nobdy will tell me why this is happening, only that it is all in my head? Fcking joke.
How can you imagine somebody ignoring you.
Keep your chin up, you're tough - all this makes you stronger.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]How can you imagine somebody ignoring you. I am nice to EVERYONE, too nice. I am now at the stage where I am sick of texting others and ringing them.As soon as I stop, they don't contact me. I spent Christmas alone, easter alone, NYE alone and my birthday alone.
You shouldn't spend all this time alone, you sound like an amazing extraordinary person, you have a lot of individuality and a good personality, you're strong willed. You will meet someone like you eventually and they will bring you happiness, I can PROMISE this.
(08-26-2012, 05:39 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]I am a decent girl, am pretty attractive, and no I am not big headed, I have learned that I am attractive through loving myself. I have nobody in my life whatsoever. I have spent the whole weekend alone, I am sick of getting dressed up and going out alone. I am going for counselling, have asked for help. trying to get legal help. I don't sit around moaning, I usually get on with it. I mean I held down studies and I am seriously sick but nobody ever says 'well done'. I was shocked to see how well I did in my exams, but had nobdy to share it with.
All men want is sex off me, but I refuse to be used like that, even though I used to give in, it did me no favours. I met somebody I really liked and I refused to sleep with him, I never heard from him again. Sorry for the long crap, any replies no matter what, will be appreciated.
In no way is this post 'long crap' it's your life and it's very important, especially to people who care about you - like me. Can I just say I'm a man and I don't want sex off you. You sound amazing and if I were to meet you in real life I would only want to be your friend and always be there for you, I respect you so much! You definitely deserve a well done from everyone but it makes no difference if you don't believe you deserve it yourself. Take a few seconds to actually pat yourself on the back and consider how amazing you are. Good-Luck! If you ever want to talk on here or MSN then just PM me, I'll always be here.
Aww I am touched, thanks! I appreciate it.
(08-29-2012, 05:11 PM)wounded Wrote: [ -> ]Aww I am touched, thanks! I appreciate it.

I'm glad I could make you feel better. Smile