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Hello, I'm new here, I'm glad I was able to find a place like this.

After the breakup, things always got better over time after I'd stayed away from her and lived my own life, and always got miserable again when she'd randomly call or I'd find something of hers in my house. Apparently after all this time, a mention of her still get to me, and it's worse still, it's making me feel pathetic.

Why do I still care (or at least fool myself into thinking I do)? Should I feel bad about this? How can I start relaxing again?

Thank you very much.

I'm going through the same thing, the best advice I can say is distraction distraction distraction!

most relationship have an emotional component. Meaning no matter what we will feel something even long after they have gone. depending on how we feel about the person and how it all ended will determine how deep the feeling is. I suggest you not focus on what happened in the past and get some professional help