Well I'm 14 years old and for the past years I have always shown a positive attitude for things, but lately the "evil" is overcoming me, and evil really inspires me, I love evil things. I find evil things funny. I laugh at cruel things. Lately I am having legitimate thoughts of killing people. A girl was making fun of me so I told her to kill herself and I would watch her and eat popcorn while she suffocated to death and I would then proceed to throw popcorn at her ugly face. I said that, laughed and I still think it is funny because I would actually do something like that. I hate myself for this reason, well I don't hate myself, but I am going freakin psychotic...I need help, but I don't know how to tell my parents because all they ever do is blame it on my computer or blame it on my games, which in reality I get these thoughts because I think that way. I don't play war games, I play puzzle games, logical games, none of this COD crap or BF3 stuff, I play relaxing games to struggle with my mind. I write poetry.
I am a happy person I will admit, but my happiness is just evil happy. I'm not a sad person, I am SADISTIC, but I think this is going to grow very fast into me actually killing someone, because I think the only thing keeping me from killing a person is my friends and my music.
I actually dealt with this for most of my teenage years.
I thought it would end me, honestly, until someone showed me a different way of looking at myself. The fact that you have a conscience means that eventually you'll get better, but this didn't happen for me until I was twenty-two years old. And even then it took a full two years beyond that point for it to sink in that I wasn't evil.
If you rely heavily on logic, that's most likely your problem. Logically, the whole world should be destroyed.
That might be a true factor right there, become stupid??? Nah, I'm smart & happy with a heart for everything. Sure, I have these thoughts like this guy is blah & I wish blah but I move forward. Train yourself not to laugh at it, look down upon it & look at good.
Are you religious at all??? if you are get into your religion more, doing more of talking to your GOD. Christianity is what I recommend with it.
fudge everything with Christianity. I hate Christianity it is so obsolete and in fact I don't believe in a God. I only believe in Angels and Demons, they help me and have proved their existence to me. My intelligence I care much about. I am certainly happy it is just I have strong thoughts and wants to kill people, I don't do it but I still have thoughts and no care if I do it.
Honestly i'd consider counseling. If you're having these sadistic thoughts of killing people, how do you know that all of a sudden with a rush of rage your thoughts become a reality.
i'm not an expert, but i do know that a real psychopath has no conscience and sadist murderers often start off when they're young by killing animals. You are not any of that then, are you. When i was a teen i was an intellectual and my hobby at school (the thing that got me through it) was, inventing as many cruel methods to kill my teachers as possible, and i made meticulous drawings of all of them.
(i'm still known for it.). i never went psychotic or anything though.
Seek help if you feel you should. But it may be that things just settle down overtime.
Look for some help and do stuff that makes you happy in life (that won't harm other people)