so, as you saw in my first post, there's a guy i call Twix.
and he's my bestfriend. my everything. i trust him with my deep dark secrets, even if i haven't told him it, it's cause im not ready to. he has two other bestfriends. he doesn't even count me as his bestfriend...i know why though. it's cause when he tells me his secrets and what he goes through, i don't really know how to respond because i don't go through what he goes through so i really don't know what to say. i feel like a terrible friend, but i try to say as much as i can. he gets annoyed and pissed off at me when i do that, and i hate it. yesterday, i cut. i've never done it before. never thought i would either. its 60% because of him, and the rest my family and school issues. ever since i cut yesterday, i've been wanting to cut more and more. i told Twix i cut and he said if i do it again, then he's gonna call my stepdad and tell him. so, know i cant cut... well i can but ill hide it from him which i don't wanna do. the cut is 1.5 inches long, and deep. it was bleeding yesterday... also, yesterday i felt lightheaded all day, had a migrane all day, had stomach pains all day, and i almost passed out in gym. i was pale as a ghost. and you know what was on my mind? him. of course. 1 guy shouldn't be causing me pain... really shouldn't. i don't know if it's best for me to just deal with the pain and cut again,( my fav. option) or just stop talking to him all together. i really have tried to not talk to him. just doesn't work out. i have another best friend that i tell a lot to, but not 100% everything. like 85. twix, its 150%. :/ if you have any words of advice, please tell me.
Cutting/Pain is addictive. I've been through it all myself. It all starts with cutting, then it turns to suicide. 6th grade for me was my worst year of my life. I didn't cut, no I did something worse. I starved myself. Then, after so much time, I took my Xbox cables and wrapped them around my garage door(those big garage doors) on the metal bar at the top. Took a ladder and with the cables went around my throat, took a jump...Your life will flash obviously, didn't believe it. You see all the bad and good memories you have in life. Think of the good memories in life. Don't be like me, I've experienced it all.
You need to learn to cope. Coping with anxiety and all of these problems will take time of course, just don't cut. I saw your post on "Amarixe" and you say weed(marijuana) is in fact addictive. Well no. Marijuana may in fact be a drug/hallucinogen but you can't be physically addicted to it(like heroin?) Cutting is emotionally addictive, so is marijuana. Proven facts.
A guy in fact can cause pain. So can girls. A girl has caused me so many problems, let me rephrase that. GIRLS. I infact have switched up emotions as any guy would have and it is all part of growing up. Did I cut over a girl? No. I cut because my family in fact doesn't care what happens, the past, etc. Cutting isn't worth it, you have to hide and cower like a fool. You will cut, then lay on your bed and stare and feel what your cut is, then wonder what the hell did I do? Don't cut. It's foolish.
Never hurt yourself for any person. It really won't affect them, Twix isn't the right person for you. Forget him find new friends and move on.
I'll give you three advises.
Avoid getting a boy-bestfriend, because males and females are completely different.
Don't hurt yourself for someone, because if you die, it's your loss not theirs.
Guys have it when you are that pushy to them. Play hard to get, and he will be all over you.
Tried to talking to him in person about it all?
Everyone who says avoid getting male best friends or never hurt you for another person are obviously loners.
(04-14-2012, 12:37 PM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]Everyone who says avoid getting male best friends or never hurt you for another person are obviously loners.
You don't know what you're talking about. You're obviously not a typical male, if you say that.
What average guys think about:
An exception would be if the guy is sensitive, but he's not based on the OP's stories. I'm sorry but I'm a realistic, why should I care about people, when they don't care about me? I might feel bad, but I won't cut myself for it. This culture is ridiculous.
Maybe it's where you live, because you do that stuff where I live, you'd get bullied pretty badly. Guys here aren't friends with girls, unless they're looking for sex. This is a fact.
If you hang out too many girls all the time, you'd be labeled as gay/female, because It's not in nature for a man and female to be friends, unless they're wife/husband.
Also, who are you to judge someone of being a loner? Are you implying that you are not a loner(?) Someone has got self-esteem issues.
(04-14-2012, 12:37 PM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]Tried to talking to him in person about it all?
Everyone who says avoid getting male best friends or never hurt you for another person are obviously loners.
i would love to talk to him about it in person, but i get nervous around him. he gives me the butterflies whenever i see him, or hear him. we have hung out before though, it wasn't really that awkward. it was really fun. but i don't know if i would be able to have a serious talk with him face to face, id be so nervous.
(04-15-2012, 10:19 AM)Into the Wild Wrote: [ -> ]i would love to talk to him about it in person, but i get nervous around him. he gives me the butterflies whenever i see him, or hear him. we have hung out before though, it wasn't really that awkward. it was really fun. but i don't know if i would be able to have a serious talk with him face to face, id be so nervous.
How much do you actually now this guy? and how long?
@Cronus.
I have a best friend who I would give my life for. We have been "brothers" for more than 10 years and he has taken crap load of beating for me and I have for him. He would do pretty much anything for me and we know everything about ourselves.
Self-esteem issues? Boy I learn psychology, I could return crap load of arguments, but I will keep the thread clean as it's not about us.
I don't get your point.
(04-15-2012, 10:31 PM)NekoChan Wrote: [ -> ]How much do you actually now this guy? and how long?
@Cronus.
I have a best friend who I would give my life for. We have been "brothers" for more than 10 years and he has taken crap load of beating for me and I have for him. He would do pretty much anything for me and we know everything about ourselves.
Self-esteem issues? Boy I learn psychology, I could return crap load of arguments, but I will keep the thread clean as it's not about us.
I don't get your point.
i know him pretty well... and we have been talking since Novemer 2011
(04-16-2012, 04:52 PM)Into the Wild Wrote: [ -> ]i know him pretty well... and we have been talking since Novemer 2011
1 year isn't nearly enough to call somebody a true best friend, that could be the case here. Try talking this with a professional, that helps a lot.