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Dear reader, this might be long ! read it when you feel like it !!
I am not a preacher, a lecturer nor a shrink ! i am a human as simple as you , gone through life and collected a treasure called " experience"!
I am 44y old , i was kicked out of my parents house when i was 16, i was abused verbally and physically by my Dad, emigrated to an other continent at 17 and learned to make it my own way, to survive, i wont deny that along the road i met people who taught me how to survive by doing all kind of nasty things ! you know that men and animals we have one thing in common !! when we are abandoned by our love once ! we group with our similar , we turned onto wild beasts , we live in packs with a leader and we do what we are told!, i am glad only that i did not touch drugs cause i always knew that is not good for me and if i wanted to make it i will need my own body to be fit!
Anyway by telling you all this, my question to you is : what is our life is all about ? are we really happy? are you ???????
are you living in the past still or you have left all behind ?? are you going through hard time ?? what are you going to do about it ????
Let me tell you a bit about hard times ! i got married when i was 28y old, i thought my life was complete, i had a job a car, we had our first child, beautiful girl , she gave us so much joy and honestly i felt that my life is complete !! Until my wife started drinking, we always enjoyed our meals with a glass of wine or a night out with a couple of beers, but she began to be obsessed with drinking, started getting drunk every other day, then everyday, we went in debts with a bank, money was never enough plus psychological and verbal abuses from her , but sometimes she showed good will to change and i felt hope to keep on going, this went on for 15 years, in the meantime we had tow more kids, her health deteriorated and her liver stated giving up, we have been through hospitals countless times untill doctors gave up on her and won help her anymore since she wont help her self eather, our kids suffered every kind of abuse, verbal, psychological , emotional , we have lived in 4 different countries thinking maybe by changing environment, things would get better, but i was wrong !
Then she passed away in the most horrible way, in hospital bed , alone, assisted by doctors so she can die at least painless !!!!
Now here i am, starting again , alone, my kids are grown up now, the go to school and live in the UK, and i am around the world working as a chef and i am happy, yes, i am happy, because i have seen it all, and learned that life is precious , every minute of it is, i have hopes and dreams even that i am not that young anymore, i have got so much to give, in every way!
So my friend reader, dont feel down low, dont let problems and people crash you, you are special, unique, smart in your own way, as a wise man once said : " the tragedy in life is not the problems that we face everyday, the real tragedy is when we lose hope " !
So, look at your self in the mirror and crash your depression and fear, look at your life with hope, and realize that, what you really need in life is : food, clothing,shelter and love ! the rest is only stress and problems, you can easily live without.
All the best to you my friend, and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Im sorry to here about your wife man :/ drink is a bad thing, does really,really bad stuff to you to. I like how you have experienced life , the ups and downs, the good times and the bad times etc. Most people in my town grow up and stay where they grew up and just have no dreams whatsoever and are to lazy to do anything, your an inspiration in many ways man, life is hard and reading this i understand that more, amazing post bro.

Thanks a lots man, i had to learn it the hard way, but no regrets ! i made this post cause i read quite few threads in here from people saying " i had it all, i am done with life, i find it hard to cope , ecc...., i just want to shout out loud that it is not the end, giving up is the beginning of the end, and rather die fighting than surrender to the down side of life, i know that my story is not exceptional , but for those who had similar experience know how really hard it is ! but hey, we all fall down, but sure if you dont stand up on your own, no one will help you ! thanks again for the reply, i appreciate it, Stay in the light Bro....

5/10 I am in a half half mood, so i don't have any emotional feelings at all.

I'm not happy with my life, I mean my real life.
Things changed when I was in 7th grade my dad passed away. I was very close to my dad, he loved me very much and provided me with everything I wanted.

My mom is kinda rude, though she loves me but she hates me too. She likes to interfere in whatever I do. She randomly appears in my college complains about me to the teachers or my friends. That's not how it should be.

But on Internet, I'm kewl.

(03-29-2012, 09:19 AM)Kewlz Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not happy with my life, I mean my real life.
Things changed when I was in 7th grade my dad passed away. I was very close to my dad, he loved me very much and provided me with everything I wanted.

My mom is kinda rude, though she loves me but she hates me too. She likes to interfere in whatever I do. She randomly appears in my college complains about me to the teachers or my friends. That's not how it should be.

But on Internet, I'm kewl.

Hey Kewl, man i'm sorry, i can understand your frustration and pain, see , maybe you would say, i am better of without my mother that gives me hard time, i am better off my city and stuff like that ! you might wait unpatiently for the day you become old enough to leave and live on your own, i felt the same in some stage of my life, then, my Dad throw me out of the house at 16m he even toke me to the local police station saying that he dosnt want me in his house cause he cant cope with me , and all this because i was deserting school like many kids at that age do ! well looking back, i wish i had more time to be with my family, i would take my mom's yelling and my dad's beating, i found myself alone and had to survive.
what can i say,,,,, just be patient , all this will be history one day !!
you have all my sympathy for you man, courage !!

I think I'm a 7 or 8 in my life right now. There is always stress but I'm happier now imho than in any time of my life. Last time I was think happy I was 19.

Can I ask you one thing?

Who takes care of your children now?

I really feel sorry for your wife, but your children living without mother that's bad for their development I guess.

This is an amazing thread, repped you for it. I'm not all for disclosing personal information so I'll leave myself out of it for now. You have gone through a LOT and how you're still positive mesmorises me. You're a good person.

I love how people get really mad at me for no reason sometimes, but then it's another reason to feel Suicidal thus explains me having a 5/10 Plus the fact that i couldn't give a crap about myself and my feelings my inner feelings are pretty much bottled Up also i act happy on the outside but on the inside i honestly feel like crap, and when i try to talk to somebody like a friend or family they brush me off, then again it might be my personality or traits i Don't blame anyone for me being fudged up and taking anti depressant pills at times i tend to think if only pull through and will i make it through the night when nobody cares, that just then gives it away that your insignificant and worthless. owell