02-26-2012, 09:14 PM
Hi there SF.
Gonna start off by saying this is really nothing serious like depression or anything. Just a little lost.
My name is Michael. I'm a sixteen-year-old sophomore in high school and I live a pretty average life. I play sports. (baseball and football, considering Track) I have friends. I play video games for the lack of anything productive to do. I read. I write in my free time. I'm social. I can laugh at myself. My friends and I can be ourselves, even in front of the entire school. I'm bright, when I choose to be. I am in quite a few accelerated/honors classes and when I bother to do my work I succeed. I'm not exactly at my ideal weight, but by no means am I out of shape. Sometimes life at home is rough. I'm the middle child of three. (14-year-old brother and 20-year-old sister) Sometimes it feels as though my parents are expecting too much of me, but at the same time are still expecting me to fail at a lot of things. It leads to some pretty heated and emotional arguments sometimes, but they resolve themselves for the most part. I'm passionate about my views and am not afraid to vocalize them. I can be aggressive and overwhelming in defense of things I stand for or people I care for and I can get over-emotional.
Okay I hope I gave an accurate description of myself to help better understand why I am conflicted. this really has been dating back to about 9 months ago. I went through a rough patch in April of my freshman year where I spent significant time hospitalized to have corrective surgery in my bladder. It set me back in school, turned me into a bit of an introvert, put an insane amount of stress on me, and really did bother me for well over half a year. That was the past. Since then I've had quite a few mental and social breakdowns, but once again, that was the past. It's over and done with. Since then I'd been experiencing problems with concentration and a lack of motivation to work at school and bother trying. My first semester grades this year were awful, my cumulative GPA went from a 3.2 to a 2.5 and I barely managed D's and C's. Second Semester has been going significantly better, with mostly high B's and A's and my focus being a lot better. Despite all of that, I find myself constantly bored with life. The excitement in my life is returning finally with baseball tryouts tomorrow. You have no idea how important it is to me. Baseball has always gotten me through thick and thin and being deprived of it last year didn't help me.
Anyways, my life has slowly made a significant turnaround from a few months ago in a state of pretty horrible depression. This entire post though still seems pretty pointless though, I'm sure. Well about that, I might as well fill in the details of my current situation. I am currently still missing what feels to be a big piece in my life. I don't get much excitement from anything lately. It's kind of rare for me to get really excited over anything these days and that kind of bugs me. I just feel like there's so much more I could be doing in life that I just don't have the time or chance to do.
For example, I mentioned I write in my free time. I have all these ideas for writing scripted out in notebooks scattered everywhere and in word documents all over the place, but I have no chance or time to build on those ideas while still staying on top of school, my social life, learning to drive (which I'm beginning to resent lol) and sports. It feels like I'm in over my head, but at the same time I have all the time in the world to sit back and watch grass grow. I realize a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm horrible at organization and planning but I just don't know what's really going on and why I feel so unfulfilled.
It might not make much sense at all, and like the title of this post says I don't even know why I'm posting. I just need some outside, unbiased input from someone with an outside view. I just want to know if anyone can make a connection between past and present or at least throw some friendly, but realistic advice my way. Just need some guidance!
Gonna start off by saying this is really nothing serious like depression or anything. Just a little lost.
My name is Michael. I'm a sixteen-year-old sophomore in high school and I live a pretty average life. I play sports. (baseball and football, considering Track) I have friends. I play video games for the lack of anything productive to do. I read. I write in my free time. I'm social. I can laugh at myself. My friends and I can be ourselves, even in front of the entire school. I'm bright, when I choose to be. I am in quite a few accelerated/honors classes and when I bother to do my work I succeed. I'm not exactly at my ideal weight, but by no means am I out of shape. Sometimes life at home is rough. I'm the middle child of three. (14-year-old brother and 20-year-old sister) Sometimes it feels as though my parents are expecting too much of me, but at the same time are still expecting me to fail at a lot of things. It leads to some pretty heated and emotional arguments sometimes, but they resolve themselves for the most part. I'm passionate about my views and am not afraid to vocalize them. I can be aggressive and overwhelming in defense of things I stand for or people I care for and I can get over-emotional.
Okay I hope I gave an accurate description of myself to help better understand why I am conflicted. this really has been dating back to about 9 months ago. I went through a rough patch in April of my freshman year where I spent significant time hospitalized to have corrective surgery in my bladder. It set me back in school, turned me into a bit of an introvert, put an insane amount of stress on me, and really did bother me for well over half a year. That was the past. Since then I've had quite a few mental and social breakdowns, but once again, that was the past. It's over and done with. Since then I'd been experiencing problems with concentration and a lack of motivation to work at school and bother trying. My first semester grades this year were awful, my cumulative GPA went from a 3.2 to a 2.5 and I barely managed D's and C's. Second Semester has been going significantly better, with mostly high B's and A's and my focus being a lot better. Despite all of that, I find myself constantly bored with life. The excitement in my life is returning finally with baseball tryouts tomorrow. You have no idea how important it is to me. Baseball has always gotten me through thick and thin and being deprived of it last year didn't help me.
Anyways, my life has slowly made a significant turnaround from a few months ago in a state of pretty horrible depression. This entire post though still seems pretty pointless though, I'm sure. Well about that, I might as well fill in the details of my current situation. I am currently still missing what feels to be a big piece in my life. I don't get much excitement from anything lately. It's kind of rare for me to get really excited over anything these days and that kind of bugs me. I just feel like there's so much more I could be doing in life that I just don't have the time or chance to do.
For example, I mentioned I write in my free time. I have all these ideas for writing scripted out in notebooks scattered everywhere and in word documents all over the place, but I have no chance or time to build on those ideas while still staying on top of school, my social life, learning to drive (which I'm beginning to resent lol) and sports. It feels like I'm in over my head, but at the same time I have all the time in the world to sit back and watch grass grow. I realize a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm horrible at organization and planning but I just don't know what's really going on and why I feel so unfulfilled.
It might not make much sense at all, and like the title of this post says I don't even know why I'm posting. I just need some outside, unbiased input from someone with an outside view. I just want to know if anyone can make a connection between past and present or at least throw some friendly, but realistic advice my way. Just need some guidance!